Monday, December 1, 2008

The Annual December Freak-Out

Grandmother turns 93 tomorrow and I haven't bought her gift yet.  Although by my normal standards I am ahead of the game because I do know WHAT I'm going to buy her which is not the usual state of affairs the day before her birthday.  I also have to shop for dinner fixings for tomorrow night and make a little birthday cake.  I think I will outsource the cake-making to daughter, she likes to bake.  The whole family is celebrating her big day on Sunday but I like to have a nice dinner and cake on her actual birthday.  (And if we didn't the kids would skin me alive, birthdays must be Marked By Celebration!)

I have a paper due tomorrow by midnight and another one due on Thursday by midnight.  Haven't started either one.  Finals are next week and I'm not done with my review guides yet.

Getting the damn advent calendar out of it's storage spot is going to entail getting every fucking Christmas decoration box down which means we might as well get the tree up and decorate while all the boxes are strewn around the house.

Two boxes of gifts need to be mailed to the out-of-towners.  Of course I can't mail them until I have PURCHASED the gifts.  More shopping.  This week.  (You might just be getting gift cards and you know who you are.)

Christmas cards have been ordered. (HOORAY!)  And as soon as they get here they must be written in, addressed, stamped and mailed.  I will also be enlisting help for that job so if your Christmas card arrives with aliens doodled inside of it and signed with the names of the Star Wars characters or with all the "i's" dotted with hearts you will know who helped with that job.

When my finals are over it will be time to completely trash the kitchen and all areas within a two-mile radius by making fudge with the kids.  We skipped this last year and they have all assured me that if we skip it this year it will cause them thousands of dollars in therapy as adults.  So we're going to make the damn fudge.  Which will then be put into cute little packages for their teachers gifts because if it stays in the house I will weigh approximately seven hundred pounds by New Year's Eve.  So I will make their teachers fat instead.  Ha.

Once the Christmas decorations have been drug out of hiding, I will have to begin the annual Nagging of the Husband.  This is a special tradition for us and begins with my gently suggesting that putting the lights on the house today when it is not raining, it is daytime and he is not busy might be a good idea.  It ends a week later with him putting the lights on the house at night, in the rain, on a workday while cursing me, Christmas, that motherfucker Santa Claus, and holidays in general but this one very specifically.  You can IMAGINE what FUN this tradition is and how MUCH I look forward to it every year!!!  Maybe I will call his foreman and have the crew come and do it one Saturday while he is gone.  This would ruin the tradition for us but I might just be willing to make the sacrifice.

Happy December.  I'm going shopping.


Laurels word said...

I'd let the foreman do it to save the headache. We put up our Christmas decor last night and it was aweful. Three screeching girls almost fist fighting over who gets to put what ornament on the damn tree. Ugh. They're lucky I'm extra patient during this season or they'd be in trouble. I just got the girls' Wii in the mail YAY!

Have fun shopping!

Shelly... said...

It just makes it that much harder since you have homework! At least the kids are old enough to be helpful! Going to miss you guys at Christmas. Maybe one year we will actually make it back to Seattle but who knows. We both hate traveling at Christmas.
Must figure out this week what I'm going to do with the cards. Perhaps a picture this year of just the dogs. Easier than trying to get a good one of all of us!
Hopefully, lovely m-i-l will get her card today if it hasn't already shown up at your house!

Jason, as himself said...

Now I know where to come to commisserate when I'm feeling bah-humbugish.

The Hotfessional said...

I managed to get the tree up last night. And lit. but no decorations are hanging.

C said...

I can't imagine going to school & having to deal with all things Christmas at the same time--it's a good thing you only have, what? A week left? Man...

I haven't done a bit of Christmas shopping yet ( I try to be done by now, ususally.) C-R-A-Z-Y!