I have a paper due tomorrow by midnight and another one due on Thursday by midnight. Haven't started either one. Finals are next week and I'm not done with my review guides yet.
Getting the damn advent calendar out of it's storage spot is going to entail getting every fucking Christmas decoration box down which means we might as well get the tree up and decorate while all the boxes are strewn around the house.
Two boxes of gifts need to be mailed to the out-of-towners. Of course I can't mail them until I have PURCHASED the gifts. More shopping. This week. (You might just be getting gift cards and you know who you are.)
Christmas cards have been ordered. (HOORAY!) And as soon as they get here they must be written in, addressed, stamped and mailed. I will also be enlisting help for that job so if your Christmas card arrives with aliens doodled inside of it and signed with the names of the Star Wars characters or with all the "i's" dotted with hearts you will know who helped with that job.
When my finals are over it will be time to completely trash the kitchen and all areas within a two-mile radius by making fudge with the kids. We skipped this last year and they have all assured me that if we skip it this year it will cause them thousands of dollars in therapy as adults. So we're going to make the damn fudge. Which will then be put into cute little packages for their teachers gifts because if it stays in the house I will weigh approximately seven hundred pounds by New Year's Eve. So I will make their teachers fat instead. Ha.
Once the Christmas decorations have been drug out of hiding, I will have to begin the annual Nagging of the Husband. This is a special tradition for us and begins with my gently suggesting that putting the lights on the house today when it is not raining, it is daytime and he is not busy might be a good idea. It ends a week later with him putting the lights on the house at night, in the rain, on a workday while cursing me, Christmas, that motherfucker Santa Claus, and holidays in general but this one very specifically. You can IMAGINE what FUN this tradition is and how MUCH I look forward to it every year!!! Maybe I will call his foreman and have the crew come and do it one Saturday while he is gone. This would ruin the tradition for us but I might just be willing to make the sacrifice.
Happy December. I'm going shopping.