Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Spoiling the Children

Before I became a parent it never occurred to me that I'd have to guard against spoiling my kids. Spoiled brats are a pain in the ass and no one wants to be around them. I didn't want to live with any or raise any. We all know that one person who was obviously spoiled rotten as a child and as a result believe that the world revolves around what they want, what they think, what they feel, and what they believe. It's really hard to resist the urge to bash their teeth in isn't it?

Julie Dawn Cole, Veruca Salt
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But as my kids get older, I find myself wanting to spoil them. WTF is up with that? I would absolutely love love LOVE to buy daughter a car for her upcoming sixteenth birthday and for the Things when they turn sixteen. Of course I'm not going to because I have a brain but what I want to know is where is that urge coming from?

Husband came home last month with an iPhone for daughter. The Things both have cell phones too. They are a huge convenience for me because all three of the kids are involved in school activities now so it makes it a hell of a lot easier for who needs a ride home when and where the hell are you I'm waiting right in front of the damn school! But they don't really NEED phones.

We're instituting a new policy for Daughter a.k.a. the SLOB and her room needs to be picked up every day (by her) and vacuumed every weekend (by her) or she doesn't get to go out with her friends or have friends over. In helping her get organized I realized she has more clothes than she has places to put them. Why does she have so many damn clothes? Oh. Yeah. I bought them for her. Dumbass.

So now I'm on restriction. I've put myself there. If I don't stop spoiling her - the Things don't have nearly as much stuff simply because they hate shopping - she's never gonna learn to take care of what she has. And that shit won't fly because I will not support a thirty-something year old adult. No more shopping trips with her. Which sucks because I love to shop too and we always have a really good time. No more doing the kids chores for them instead of making them do them. Over and over. Until they're done CORRECTLY. (Side note - Why are they incapable of seeing the dog hair on the stairs that they supposedly just swept?)

Good parents don't spoil their children. So why do I want to?

Maybe it's because they are really good kids. When I hear about their peers doing drugs, drinking, skipping class, getting or getting someone pregnant, having unprotected sex or telling their teachers to fuck off, I know just how lucky we are to have such great kids.

But they still need to learn how to clean the bathroom and do laundry before they go to college.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

For the Star Wars Nerd in Your Life

Boba Fett Sneakers - I shit you not.
crazy shoes - Wear Your Mandalorian Stripes Proudly
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Sunday, September 26, 2010

Parade Day

Saturday was Parade Day for our high school marching band which includes the flag and dance teams. Thing One plays the trumpet and Daughter is on the dance team so we left the house at o'dark-thirty to drive over the Cascades and into Leavenworth. The parade was part of the Autumn Leaf Festival and last year was our school's first year participating. They won FIRST PLACE in their division last year and guess what...they won FIRST PLACE again this year! Woot! Their band director and assistant have built an amazing performing arts program at our school and they get the kids to perform above and beyond every time.

Here is the band marching down main street in Leavenworth, a funky little Bavarian themed village in the gorgeous Cascade Mountains. If you are anywhere close to driving distance, I urge you to visit it during the fall when the leaves are changing. It will take your breath away.

Here is daughter posing - I was going for an "artsy" shot with her shadow in the background. It's not fine art but she loves it and I think it's pretty cute. Dance Cats is the name of the dance team.

And here is daughter and Thing One - posing together against their will. I told them if they didn't pose for a picture then I'd make them walk home. Ninety-five miles. They knew I meant it too.

It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day and we all had a great time. Good thing I got some sunshine because it's gray and rainy today. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Seven Things

My very awesome friend ChiTown Girl gave me an award! Woot! Chi is a kindergarten teacher in - wait for it - CHICAGO! and while she is crazy enough not to love love love hot weather, we have lots of other things in common. Including her smart-ass sense of humor (I laugh my butt off at her email of the day posts!) and our love of kids. She likes the short, pees-their-pants-occasionally, needs help with their buttons while I prefer the sullen, stinky, teenage variety but still, we both love kids. Even if they make us crazy occasionally. Ok, all the time. Ok, who wants to buy a teenager?

So I'm a versatile blogger! Cool! I assume this means that I can blog while simultaneously beating my kids, making dinner, and studying for a mid-term. Cause I can.

Here are the rules:

Acknowledge the award and thank and link back to the person bestowing it.
Pass on the award to 15 other bloggers: (in no particular order)
Let the new recipients know you've selected them.
Share seven things about yourself that your readers or followers might not know.
Post the badge to your blog.

Here is the hard part, thinking of seven things about me you don't know. At least the 3 of you who aren't my family. (Hi Mom!)

1. I'm a hair twirler and have been ever since I can remember. When I finally start teaching high school I'm gonna look like a fucking moron twirling my hair around my fingers while grading papers. It's a hard habit to break.

2. I get motion-sick in the bathtub. LOOKING at a picture of water makes me seasick. Going to movies at an IMAX theater is not an option. I can't even play driving video games with the Things because it makes me nauseous. This is why even though Marvelous Mom and Stepdan have had a sailboat for umpteen years, I've only been sailing on it once. I took a dramamine and was mostly comatose for the ride.

3. I would die without my iPhone. Die dead. You can have it when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

4. I love painting, like paint on canvas art type painting, but I totally suck dinosaur balls at it. But occasionally I buy a canvas and paint something, just because I like the feeling of brushing the paint on.

5. Facebook is my bitch.

6. I'm an atheist. I would LIKE to believe in God and heaven and an afterlife - especially when beautiful, perfect four-year-old boys die in accidents for no reason - but I just can't. Evidence, I need evidence.

7. If I never see another snowflake again it will be too soon.

So, the fifteen (GOD that seems like a lot! Some of these folks who are gonna be wondering who the hell I am) bloggers I'm tagging are

Shelly (For God's sake post SOMETHING! Heh.)

And, um, EVERYONE ELSE! Seven things y'all, chop-chop!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Gratuitous Photo

Just to show that Daughter is not ALWAYS a sullen, pouting brat, here is a pic of her with one of her best friends and my bonus son, Baron Munchausen. I love them both!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Oh Happy Day

Last week was a doozy. Tuesday morning I was on my way out the door (in flip flops and pajamas, I'm pretty classy ya know) to take daughter to dance practice when I slipped and fell down the stairs. My - not inconsiderable - entire body weight fell right on my tailbone and broke it.

I wailed. My two extra kids - friends of daughter's who pretty much live here - had spent the night and all five of the kids were a bit freaked out at the sight of me rolling around screaming in pain while Husband tried to determine if he was going to be a widow or if I was just being hysterical.

So when the kids had their first day of school the next day, Husband was in charge of taking pictures since I was unable to move without howling. This year the Things are starting High School - lowly, lowly, Freshmen - and all three of the hellions will be at the same school with Daughter lording it over them as a Junior.

If you see Husband would you mind asking why the hell he thought taking pics from the top of the stairs was a good idea?

With the lack of actual GOOD pictures, I decided to go for comedy instead. Presenting - OH MY GOD I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL WITH MY BROTHERS!

"So Daughter, are you excited for the first day of school? With Thing 1 and Thing 2?"

"I guess that's a no..."

"So what are you going to eat for lunch?"

"I don't care what your friends are doing, you may NOT eat your brothers for lunch!"

"Don't worry Thing 2, she won' REALLY eat you for lunch. She'll just stuff you in a locker."

"Have a nice day!"

Unfortunately my injury has prevented me from doing my annual back-to-school happy dance all over the neighborhood. But I'm THINKING it really, really hard.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Drop Everything and Watch This

Now excuse me while I go find the kleenex.

Hey Husband, I love you.

Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.