Sunday, October 16, 2011


Husband and I went to a wedding last night. It was beautiful and touching, like all weddings should be. When the bride walked up the aisle on the arm of her Grandfather and Mother I started to cry and I continued to fight back tears for the entire evening.

There was a little old lady at the buffet whose younger friend or relative was helping to get her food dished up. I had to walk away because it so reminded me of Nannie.

When the bride's Grandfather toasted the new couple I almost lost it completely.

All evening all I could think about was how sad I was that Nannie will not be here for my brother's wedding. She was so very proud of him, she really liked his best beloved, and would have been thrilled to see them say their vows to each other - to see him start off his new life with the woman he loves. Nannie loved Scientist Genius Brother so very much.

I know she will be with us in spirit but I am selfish, I want her there for real. I want her back. I miss her so so very much.

My heart hurts.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Whatevertober Parts 3, 4, & 5: Memento (2000)

Good evening, illusions! This is your host, Thing Two! I'd like to personally apologize for the late update(s). You see, we came down with a severe case of vagueish problemitis. Also, I was busy watching and rewatching Memento (sadly, without any guest commentators), which so happens to be tonight's film! I apologize in advance for the lack of spoilers. I know how much everybody loves spoilers to a really good recent movie that shouldn't be spoiled.

Memento isn't really a horror flick so much as it is an intellectual thriller (we can do thrillers as well as horror films, and this apparently even extends to Godzilla movies); the kind that demands your attention. And damn, but do you have to pay a lot of attention to this one!

The whole film is viewed from the perspective of the protagonist Leonard Shelby, who has memory problems and something to do with a murder or two. There are sequences filmed in color, which go in reverse chronological order, and sequences filmed in black and white, which go in regular chronological order. "Confusing" is an understatement. There was a mind-boggling number of mind-bogglers the first time I watched it through. I had so many questions that needed to be answered, I resolved to watch it a second time the next night. And so I did.

The second viewing absolutely floored me. It was like watching a different film. Now so much more made sense! So that's why *SPOILERS* was *SPOILERS* to *SPOILERS*! They were trying to *SPOILERS* the entire time! Well, almost the entire time. However, there were still a few things that I still did not understand, so, having never watched a movie thrice in a row, I decided to watch it for a third time! And that's what I did tonight. I think I get everything, but I may have to let it all sink in for a while.

Anyway, if you like psychological thrillers and repeated viewings (read: Inception), then you'll probably like Memento! Four out of five reverse-reverse-antireverse-rereverse plot twists!

Tomorrow night, we eat bullets! Or, y'know, watch Poltergeist. Whatever.
I truly am really, really sorry for the short update. I promise it'll be better tomorrow.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Octoberfest Part 2: The Exorcist (1973)

Good evening, children of God! This is your host, Thing Two! Welcome to the second spine-chilling sequence of Whatevertober, with guest commentators Thing One and Katy herself, who picked out tonight's movie! Speaking of which, let's get to that. Tonight's feature: The Exorcist!

THING TWO: I know I promised not to do summaries or recaps, but I couldn't pass this one up. All right, so tonight we watched The Exorcist, a touching yet bittersweet tale of a loving mother, her sweet little daughter, a down-on-his-luck priest who's offered a second chance, and an vengeful Iraqi spirit that hates friendly upper-class American families for some reason.

The movie starts off with an aging Indiana Jones on an archaeological dig in northern Iraq (sometimes called Kurdistan), where he eventually confronts an ancient statue. It is revealed to him through nonverbal psychic exchanges that the time-traveling ghost of Saddam Hussein is seeking revenge on the decadent and corrupt Americans. Naturally, Indy rushes back to the USA as fast as dotted red lines can carry him.

Back in America, we meet two more of the main characters: Julia Roberts and Reagan. Reagan complains about how that meanie Gorbachev won't put his book down during tests to let Reagan copy his answers. Oh, and there's something about a space cowboy, too. Captain Howdy, I think his name was. Then we get to meet the other protagonist, Rocky Balboa, who is undergoing a faith crisis.

The storyline is split between Julia Roberts and Rocky for a while. Julia Roberts finds that the vibrating massage bed isn't working out for Reagan, and she gets it replaced with a non-malfunctioning one. But tragedy strikes again, as Reagan listens to too much heavy metal and in the middle of the night starts headbanging a bit too enthusiastically. Then Reagan wets herself at a party, embarrassing poor Julia Roberts to no end. The montage is quite the comedy of errors. Reagan is taken to Asshole Psychiatry, Inc. where the doctors misdiagnose her in every imaginable way before admitting to their quackery and advising Roberts to seek out a professional archaeologist (preferably a WWII veteran) or a rookie boxer.

At this point, the storylines merge. Up until now, Rocky had been mourning the death of his personal trainer Mickey and questioning his faith. Indiana Jones had been battling clockwork Nazi golems offscreen. Julia Roberts asks Rocky for help, who in turn asks Indy for help. They all meet up at the Roberts household, where they find Reagan restrained, bruised, battered, and wearing hideous puke-green contact lenses. At first they have trouble figuring out what's wrong with Reagan. Initially, they dismiss the possibility of possession by an angry Middle Eastern dictator's spirit (since Reagan's room is like an icebox, and one would think that some like it hot over in Arabia), but the contact lenses give Saddam away (Hussein was famous for his terrible fashion sense).

To counter Hussein, Indy and Rocky read aloud Led Zeppelin lyrics and sprinkle Reagan's body with the tears of Kurdish children. It proves to be ineffective, as Saddam kills Indy with the constant mental image of Shia LaBeouf's face (this truly was his last crusade). Rocky, inspired by the memory of Mickey's training, grabs Saddam's ghost in a stranglehold and wrestles him out the window. Rocky's sheer willpower manages to banish Saddam Hussein back to Hell once and for all. Unfortunately, Rocky lands on a flight of stairs and breaks his own neck. Julia Roberts and Reagan live and move to Argentina (or possibly Connecticut). But what about Rocky and Indy? Oh, don't worry...Darth Vader resurrects them in The Exorcist II. No, really, James Earl Jones is in the sequel.

But seriously, I liked The Exorcist. It's not really a scary movie, but I like it as a thriller nonetheless. It's a story of faith and connection, and it works. As for everyone out there? Well, if you're old enough to get over Reagan's demonic makeup and distorted voices, then check it out! As long as you aren't expecting Ghostbusters, it won't disappoint! I give it five out of five pea soup regurgitations.

KATY: The scariest thing about the Exorcist is the idea of losing a child. Poor Regan is lost to her mother and that is the ultimate boogeyman...someone taking your baby. So very very scary...

Thing 2 is the Antichrist, I'm gonna have to become catholic now.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Whatevertober Part 1: Dracula (1931)

Good evening, counts and countesses! This is your host, Thing Two! Welcome to a new feature of Whatever that we like to call Whatevertober! Every night of October, I will be watching a horror or thriller movie and providing short afterthoughts with one or a few guests watching it with me and providing even shorter afterthoughts. So you now all have thirty-one entertaining blog posts to look forward to (thirty, if you don’t count this one)! If you are familiar with Cinemassacre's annual series, Monster Madness, then you should recognize the similarities. As in, this is exactly the same as Monster Madness, but in blog format. And it isn’t recaps, it’s afterthoughts on the viewing experience. With guest stars. But anyway, let us move on. Without further ado, here is the first entry of Whatevertober, with guest commentator Thing One! Tonight’s film: Dracula!

THING TWO: Several years ago, we purchased the two-disc 75th Anniversary DVD edition of Dracula. (Whew! There’s a technical mouthful for you!) Tonight, I finally got around to watching it. Really, it was actually Thing One’s idea to dust it off and give it a try. I think that he nailed it (pun intended) with Dracula. There couldn’t be a more appropriate choice for the first entry of Whatevertober. And here’s why.

Dracula, to put it bluntly, is a timeless classic. It’s a masterpiece, truly ahead of its time. Vampire movies are now a cornerstone of the horror genre. There are so many vampire movies nowadays. How many good vampire films that have come out in recent years can you think of? What vampire movies have you seen growing up? Thirty Days of Night? The Lost Boys? The 90s remake of Dracula? Everyone’s seen a few. But the original…is Nosferatu. The original with sound is Dracula, starring the master himself, Bela Lugosi. Oh man, Bela Lugosi…he’s awesome. Bela Lugosi is like the Chuck Norris of horror. (Boris Karloff is the Bruce Lee of horror.) That iconic cape, that spine-chilling stare, the etcetera etcetera. I really don’t feel like repeating what has been said a thousand times over. You all know how iconic Dracula is. Let’s skip ahead to my actual thoughts on the film.

It’s awesome. ‘Nuff said.

What, you want more?

Oh, fine. I’ll start with the music, or lack thereof. There is only one bit of soundtrack in the entire movie, and that’s at the opening credits. But that single snippet of score is more than enough to set the unnerving mood. The omnipresent silence that follows for the next hour and a quarter is downright disturbing. It’s…well, it’s creepy. What else can I say?

I can talk about other stuff. Like the performances. They’re a little cheesy sometimes, but what would you expect? Dracula was released in 1931. (That sentence sounds funny. For me, it just now conjured up a mental image of Dracula being let out of a cage after waiting since the 1800s.) The set pieces are absolutely fantastic, and do a wonderful job of setting the mood. Speaking of the mood, the atmosphere is so thick, you could slice it with a knife. (That’s a good thing.) The one special effect is the bats. I saw the string at one point. But again, it’s from 1931. It’s more than forgiven.

All in all, Dracula is a treasured gem of cinema. If you haven’t seen it yet, check it out! I give it five out of five Lugosi creeper stares.

THING ONE: The grand daddy of horror. A must-see for any fan of anything ever. Five out of five delicious Hungarian accents.

See you tomorrow, when we tackle another thriller! Until then, counts and countesses, good night.

Thing 2 is doing this as an extra-credit project for his drama class, I'm not sure his teacher knows exactly what he has unleashed upon the world!

One of Husband's Favorites