Tuesday, October 14, 2008

My First Homecoming in 15 years

Husband and I hate our daughter.  We are evil parents sent straight from hell to torment her.  We want her to have a non-existent social life and to be shunned by her peers as if she were a leper.  She has informed us of this because, we are, BOTH of us, chaperoning the Homecoming Dance on Saturday night.  I was thinking of this look for my dress, what do you think?

No?  Are you sure?  If I am going to be a demonic evil parent to my teenage daughter I thought I should do it properly.  Well, alright, if you insist.  I will go with something less eye-catching.  Daughter has requested that we dress in clothing the same color as the paint on the walls of the school gym and stand very still against the wall at all times.  

Husband was toying with the idea of renting a baby blue ruffled tuxedo but the cost was prohibitive.  (As in it would cost money - rather than be totally free like the slacks and shirt from 1987 that are hanging in his closet.  They're from The Oaktree, remember that store in the malls back in the day?  Yeah, he doesn't get dressed up often.)

Now I have to dig my cattle-prod out of the closet to have justincase some nasty boy wants to dance with my precious daughter.  What?  Husband wanted to borrow a shotgun, I think a cattle-prod is a good compromise....


Shelly... said...

Take pics of her giving you guys the stink eye for being there! Although she should know by now that acting embarrassed about her father will only encourage him!
Laughed about the Oaktree comment. Totally remember that place!

Ami said...

Tried to post a comment earlier and Blogger wouldn't let me.

My cousin's hubby used to threaten to get a sharpie and write the name of whatever new boy was coming to pick up one of their daughters on an empty bullet.
He planned to hand it to the boy upon introduction and say, "This is not the only one I have with your name on it."

He never did, though.

And which sports figure was it (can't remember) who said he just figured he'd kill the first guy who came to pick up his daughter, figuring that word would just get out and he'd only have to do it once.

And I love the bright red ensemble. I think you definitely should wear it.

C said...

I LOVE IT! I'm totally going to that to my kids when the time comes!

You're husband should dress up ala Napoleon Dynamite, and break out the dance moves. I'm sure that would go over really well.


Amy said...

Totally rent that blue tuxedo. Great for a killer blog post.
This is funny. I have a ten year old daughter, I'm nervous for the upcoming years.