Friday, February 27, 2009


There are only three weeks left in this quarter and I am curious why every fucking Professor I have saved all the work/papers/projects for NOW?  That's all on TOP of finals for two classes.  So here is what I've been doing while I haven't been blogging...

Reading.  Lots and Lots of reading.

Writing.  Lots and Lots of writing.

I have also spend a significant amount of time wearing my black and white striped shirt while refereeing these two yahoos...

And folding truckloads of this...

My family's nutrition is suffering and I'm surprised their hair hasn't begun to fall out.  (Except husband, his hair has been falling out for awhile now.) I think we had pizza from Costco three times in the last 10 days and the other days we had soup and sandwiches or cereal for dinner.  I am cooking stir-fry tonight but only because if I have to think about school for another whole evening my brain will boil inside my head and leak out of my ears.

I do have to watch a PBS special on "Take Back Our Time" at 7:30 tonight for an assignment but I intend to do so while drinking a glass or three of wine.  My notes will be interesting to say the least!

I can't wait to have a life again.  For as long as Spring Break lasts that is...

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I Caved

Thing 2 now has a cell phone.

So when he gets lost walking from his school to the library he can call me to get directions.  And he will get lost.  Because he is Scientist Genius Brother's Nephew.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


I had a dream last night that some evil person gave Thing 1 & Thing 2 a pet snake for their birthday.  Not just ANY pet snake, a PREGNANT pet snake.  So we had a four-foot long boa constrictor and five or six shoelace sized boa constrictors.  Note to friends and family, if you give any of my offspring pet reptiles I will cut you.

Because I don't want a snake, I want a hedgehog.

Photo via

Sunday, February 22, 2009


While avoiding homework by looking at porn the other day, I found Benita's very cool display of Pez dispensers in her home in Sweden.  (I think all those cold, dark months constitute a necessary home decorating hobby/job/sanity saver.  It's either that or a rubber room.)

I can't put her picture up here because I'm technologically challenged so click on her name to see it.  Go on, I'll wait.  She even has a Mr. Bean pez thingy!

It reminded me of the library organized by color pics that were all over the porn-o-sphere a few months ago.  I think this is the coolest thing ever and because I have three 8ft. by 4ft. bookcases in my living room, two that size in the playroom plus three smaller ones, a 4ft. by 4ft. one in the hallway and two more of the 8x4 sized ones in daughters room and smaller ones in the Things bedrooms - ALL of which are full of books, I could probably do it to a pretty good effect.

I love the way it looks but keep thinking what a MASSIVE pain in the ass it would be to create.  And maybe how it would drive me batshit crazy to not be able to find a book I wanted when I wanted it?

Picture from Craftzine

Or maybe I'm just trying to come up with more ways to procrastinate doing my homework, the laundry, weeding the garden, paying bills, organizing the mudroom.....

Friday, February 20, 2009

Chick Magnets

The sight of Thing 1 and Thing 2 trying to herd 8 chickens out of my garden when I pulled into our driveway on Wednesday was QUITE a sight!  For some inexplicable reason the boys thought I would be angry and the first thing out of their mouths was "They followed us home Mom, we tried to stop them but they just followed us!!!"

After I picked myself up off the ground where I had fallen down from laughing so hard, I assured them that chickens following them home was not anything that was going to get them into trouble.  Then I sent them in to get the camera...

What can I say, my boys are CHICK MAGNETS!

And these were some VERY friendly chickens.  The impudent white one jumped right on my lap after I took this picture!  Being the responsible adult that I am I yelled "CHICKEN!  ON MY LAP!  GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!!" so Thing 2 shooed it off of me.

Hey, I've got nothing against chickens but when one is on your lap you realize how hard and pointy and BIG their beaks are!  I had visions of losing an eye!

Then we let our idiot golden retriever out and the chickens all huddled against the house, cowering in fear and terror...

Until they realized that if THEY chased HER, she would run away!  The next few minutes were highly entertaining watching our dog run away from a bunch of chickens.

Finally the boys got some bread and slowly led them down the driveway, down the road and back to the neighbor's house where they rightfully belong.  The neighbor was very apologetic but the boys told him not to worry about it - "Mom laughed her head off and then took pictures so she could blog it".

They know me so well!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Viva Las Vegas Part Two

Considering that Shelly, Yo, Christy and I are all bloggers, we didn't take NEARLY enough pictures!  Although to be fair, we were very busy laughing at each other falling down drunk and dancing on tabletops and bars.  We are WILD & CRAZY gals!

I'm so crazy I gave my camera to a very nice but dirty and scruffy man who offered to take our picture in front of the Paris hotel where we stayed on Sunday night.  There was NO fucking way Shelly or Christy was handing over their camera but I did so freely.  It must be a sign of my blondeness.  Or idiocy.  Scientist Genius Brother is going to shit a brick that I handed over my camera to a complete stranger who looked homeless.

But the picture turned out great!

Here I am trying to lick my way through the glass to get at the worlds largest chocolate fountain.  Shortly after this picture was taken I stripped naked, broke the glass with my hugemongous purse and dove in.  I was able to drink quite a bit before the cops pulled me out.  It's ok, Dad was prepared with bail money.

Shelly and Christy with a big brass lion with big brass balls.  They were too chicken to sit on it.

So that's GTHAFR Vegas '09.  I am REALLY looking forward to the next one - these gals are my friends for life!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Viva Las Vegas Part One

Meeting up with total strangers in Las Vegas ROCKS!  I highly recommend it for everyone.  (Unless your online bloggy friends are not as cool as mine and turn out to be furry fat men missing teeth, then it wouldn't be so cool.)

Here we are at a bar (aren't you surprised?) just after meeting Mel and Yo who drove from San Diego and Christy who flew in from Ohio.  Whores from left to right are Mel, Yo, Shelly, Me and Christy.  The sex swing didn't fit in Christy's suitcase so she left it at home but we forgave her since she is so much fun.  We'll check it out when we visit her in New Hampster.  Yes, Christy is moving in a couple of weeks and she STILL came for our bloggy weekend.  I told you, SHE ROCKS!

Christy did have some trouble getting the alcohol into the glass but it was at the Paris hotel so we didn't have to clean the carpet, Shelly just got down on the floor and sucked up the tequila.  We wouldn't want to waste any!

Mel and Yo missed the Paris hotel and partying on the strip portion of the weekend because they insisted on driving home the day after they came.  Mel made noises about having to go to work but they were seeing other bloggers, I know it.  The whores.

Here are the three of us in bed with our bottle of Menage a Tois wine.  *snicker*

Christy taking a picture of me taking a picture of her while Melissa laughs at us.

Check out the kick ass margarita glasses that Shelly bought for all of us!!!  Christy ENJOYED her margaritas!  Then she danced on the table for us - girl has some moves!

Melissa and Yo at the bar.  Drinking.  Some more.  I'm pretty sure my liver is completely pickled but it was so totally worth it.

More pics to come...but I'm saving the really juicy ones for blackmail material!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Running Away From Home

Schoolwork and parenting is making me crazy CRAZY so I am outta here!  Tomorrow morning I fly out of Seattle to Vegas (by way of San Fransisco, how bizarro is that?) to spend until Monday with Dad, Stepmonster and my bloggy buddies Christy and Yo as well as Yo's sister who must be crazy because she runs marathons and shit.  (We are gonna RUIN her training, I just know it!)

I haven't *officially* met Christy and Yo but we were born to be friends - you should see some of the emails we've exchanged!  Word on the street is that Christy won a SEX SWING and is gonna bring it with her so we can see exactly how raunchy it is!  (Christy's husband, we promise not to actually USE it, we just wanna LOOK at it!)

Vegas, here we come!!!  It's GTHAFR '09!!!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Super Social

I chaperoned the "social" (apparently they aren't called dances in middle school) at Thing 2's school Friday afternoon.  He moved to a new middle school in November and is doing splendidly.  He has more friends than he knows what to do with and is quite the ladies man.

They love him but it looks like he isn't quite sure if that is a good thing or not.  I predict that in another year he will be loving the attention from the girls!

I also got to meet the PTA president and some other Mom's who were all very nice *and* I hob-nobbed with some of the teachers.  Connections are important if you want to know what the hell is going on at your kids school and I'm finally making some at his school.  Because I don't have enough to do already.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Clouds Parted, The Angels Sang

Daughter got a 97% on her geometry final!


The sounds of celebrating, high-fiving and whooping it up you hear emanating from the Pacific Northwest are husband and I having an impromptu party on daughter's behalf.  I can't wait for her to get home from school so I can tell her how PROUD I am of all the hard work she has done this year to get her math skills up.

Tutoring two nights a week for two hours each night.  (It is worth every penny of the eleventy-thousand dollars it has cost us - even husband agrees.)

Studying on the weekends.

Actually asking her parents for help occasionally.

Doing the extra credit.

Staying after school for yet more help from the teacher.

She is not a math lover but she is determined to go to college and knows that doing well in math is vital to achieving that goal so she has worked her butt off to improve.  WE ARE SO PROUD OF HER!!!

To all our wonderful family members, please send her a text message telling her how proud you are of her too.  This is huge for a girl that failed Algebra last year!

I'm going to go bask in the wonderfulness that is her 97% geometry final grade.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Beautiful Babies

Have I mentioned that I have not one, but TWO genius brothers?  Scientist Genius Brother who is getting his Ph.D. in gobbledeegook.  I mean Chemistry.  And Math Genius Brother who is earning his degree in Mathematics.  Otherwise known as The Bane of My High School Existence.

Math Genius Brother is Stepdan's son and earned Uber-genius status by marrying Russian Sister-in-law who is the sweetest and most adorable person ever.  When they made two beautiful baby girls my head exploded from the cuteness.

This is the cutest baby in the whole fucking universe, niece 2....

I mean seriously, those dimples could SAVE THE WORLD!  And the big blue eyes?  I'm dying from the cuteness!!!

Here is a beautiful shot of her big sister, niece 1, who previously held the title of cutest baby in the whole fucking universe and who is now known as the most adorable toddler to ever live.  (I doubt her parents think that but I am asserting my Aunt-al rights to bestow the title upon her.)

Because Math Genius Brother was not *quite* enough of a genius to go to a school on THIS side of the state and instead lives 7 hours by car and one mountain range away, I do not get to see them nearly enough.  I have had some - but not enough - time to spoil Niece 1 and make friends with her by making faces and blowing bubbles but Niece 2 has not been the recipient of my Auntly Affections nearly often enough.  My dastardly school schedule, family responsibilities and the sixty feet of snow East of the mountains has thwarted my plans for Mission Spoil the Girls Rotten.

I must rectify the situation as soon as possible.  Those dimples NEED Auntly kisses and that beautiful girl NEEDS to go sledding with Aunt Katy!

Spring Break is coming soon...