I've written about my love of baseball many times before. For those of you who find baseball less interesting than watching paint dry, let me tell you my secret.
Find a favorite player.
When I was a kid going to Seattle Mariners games in the long gone Kingdome, sitting in the cheap seats eating peanuts with my Dad, my favorite player was Spike Owen. Ostensibly, it was because his name was Spike - my Dad called me Spike - therefore we were two peas in a pod. But really it was because I thought he was hot. (Do you see why my children are evil? I am paying for my own childhood.) Sorry Mom and Dad, I apologize for everything.
So this year my favorite is Frankie Gutierrez. And holy shit he is REALLY FUCKING HOT!!! Um, as long as I ignore the fact that he is the same age as Scientist Genius Brother. Almost ten years younger than me. Dammit.
But c'mon, you gotta admit that he is one fine hunka manly-man.
I tell you, with this strategy ANYONE can be a baseball fan. I sure as hell won't be missing any Mariners games this season! Those tight little baseball pants hug Frankie's gluteus maximus in all the right places...