Monday, May 4, 2009

Vegetarian

Have I told you the story of Vegetarians I Have Known?  No?  Well, pull up a chair and let's chat.  It's all her fault...


I've posted this pic before but it's the best one I have of her and she will kick my ass if I post a bad pic so here it is again.  This is my BFF cousin.  We grew up like sisters, fighting and trying to kill each other at every opportunity.  Now I would take a bullet for her and consider her my sister as well as the psychic mother of my daughter.  (Daughter is so much like BFF cousin that it is spooky.)  

ANYWAY....

BFF cousin had a dream, something about animals and eating and hunting (I dunno, I wasn't really paying attention when she told me about it.  I SAID we were like sisters!) and she became a vegetarian.  Then she read a book called Diet For a New America by John Robbins and she tied me up with duct tape and made me read it too.  Then I became a vegetarian because that book was scary!  

It was GREAT!  I really didn't care that I saved chickens and cows from becoming my dinner but I got SKINNY!  My body really really likes to be vegetarian!  I was hawt stuff!  Then I took daughter to Italy to visit another cousin, Army Boy, who I love dearly and was stationed just outside of Venice.  Hmm...stay in Italy, visit one of my favorite cousins and STAY IN FUCKING ITALY?  I thought about it for half a nanosecond and then took daughter and flew to Italy for two weeks.

Have you ever tried to order a vegetarian meal in a language you do not speak?  I don't recommend it.  After half an hour of trying to communicate 'vegetarian' to a waiter via charades I finally gave up and ate meat.  Yummy, cholesterol raising red meat.  I fell off the wagon and have not managed to climb back on.  I'm gonna have to read that book again.

So after I fell off the wagon, Thing 1 decided that he too was going to be a vegetarian.  It was August of 2005.  He was 9.  And he hasn't eaten meat since.  No beef, no pork, no poultry, no fish.  Zip, nada, zilch.  He decided to become a vegetarian because he loves animals and doesn't want to eat them or kill them.  Before he eats anything he reads the list of ingredients to make sure it doesn't contain gelatin (it's made from horse hooves or bones or something) and soup is not acceptable if it has chicken or beef broth in it.  I have to admire his dedication to a cause.

He has expressed dismay at his inability to give up ice cream and cake (eggs!) in order to go totally vegan but he consoles himself with not wearing leather and making me - and Grandmother! - buy all organic free range dairy & egg products.  The fit he threw when I bought regular eggs one time had to be seen to be believed!


And you know what, he's sick less than any of the rest of us!  Thing 2 and daughter both had the pukey flu this past year but Thing 1 didn't get it.  He never even got a cold!  And he's 2 inches taller than Thing 2.  

I believe it's time to haul my ass back on the vegetarian wagon.  Maybe I'll drag the rest of the family on with me...

13 comments:

MOM #1 said...

Wow! Really?

A couple of people in this house(who shall remain nameless - lest they shame themselves via the world wide web) are kicking around the idea of going vegetarian. Some of us are reading "The Omnivore's Dilemma" right now, but will have to check out that book next. Hmmmm.....

It's strange to find such a young man that dedicated to anything, much less his own diet.

You did good, Girl!

ms. changes pants while driving said...

i would LOVE to have seen the fit. next time, grab a camera, wouldja? that is so awesome that he's found something like that to be passionate about, especially at such a young age!

i think he should write a book for kids. how to be vegetarian.

Kate said...

Being a vegetarian sounds like a lot of work.. so I never tried it.
Plus I hate most vegetables.
But not being sick so often and maybe taller.. and definitely skinnier.. would be awesome!

I have a vegan friend.. who smokes...
not sure if that's a good combination. Can't kill an animal to eat it, but let's kill ourselves by blackening the lungs? ha ha ha.
I cracked myself up there.

Kate said...

p.s. Your son must be extremely smart to be able to figure out what's ok to eat and what isn't.. gelatin? who knew? not me.

Kate said...

p.s.s. if margaritas are vegetarian. I'm in.

done stalking now.

carry on.

The Hotfessional said...

I did no red meat for a while. Closest I ever got.

Now, though, I have red meat about once every 3 months. Chicken, fish or turkey more often, but still not daily.

I cannot, however, go the summer without grilled pork chops.

Good for Thing1!

Jason, as himself said...

I keep thinking about it. Every once in a while I gross myself out when I think how I'm eating one of my own kind...another mammal. And Amelia always tells me all mammals have feelings and we should never eat a being that has feelings. But apparently birds do not. Nor fish. But NO MORE FISH.

C said...

Funny you should post about this b/c I recently stopped eating meat (I've been about 99% for 2 weeks.) I'll have to get that book...oh, and BTW--you can buy egg substitute (powder) at the health food store. I have to buy it if I want to make anything for Karissa's school that would normally have eggs b/c they're vegetarian (the school was founded by a faction of Hinduism on the same property as an Ashram.) They're allowed to have dairy, but no meat, no eggs.

~Christy

Shelly... said...

I will become a vegetarian right after I start going back to church. Good luck with dragging the family with you...

Shelly... said...

PS--Kate, I think margaritas are vegetarian but regardless they are a beautiful beautiful thing.

Jeanne said...

To meat or not to meat????????

I could probably do the no meat thing....but I got to have my fish!!
I tried the raw diet for 2 weeks and I lost 10 lbs. and never felt better. You would of thought that I would of continued,,,, still can't remember how I fell of the wagon..

Kate said...

Hope you have a happy mother's day.

mommy~dearest said...

I'm stalking you back from my blog. ;)

I used to be veg (and yes, was in the best shape ever)- now I don't eat red meat- but I'm still fat. It's okay though, I "just had a baby".

One day soon, someone's going to call me out and say, "you did NOT just have a baby- he's 2 and a half!"

And when they do... damn them to hell.