Have I told you the story of Vegetarians I Have Known? No? Well, pull up a chair and let's chat. It's all her fault...
I've posted this pic before but it's the best one I have of her and she will kick my ass if I post a bad pic so here it is again. This is my BFF cousin. We grew up like sisters, fighting and trying to kill each other at every opportunity. Now I would take a bullet for her and consider her my sister as well as the psychic mother of my daughter. (Daughter is so much like BFF cousin that it is spooky.)
BFF cousin had a dream, something about animals and eating and hunting (I dunno, I wasn't really paying attention when she told me about it. I SAID we were like sisters!) and she became a vegetarian. Then she read a book called Diet For a New America by John Robbins and she tied me up with duct tape and made me read it too. Then I became a vegetarian because that book was scary!
It was GREAT! I really didn't care that I saved chickens and cows from becoming my dinner but I got SKINNY! My body really really likes to be vegetarian! I was hawt stuff! Then I took daughter to Italy to visit another cousin, Army Boy, who I love dearly and was stationed just outside of Venice. Hmm...stay in Italy, visit one of my favorite cousins and STAY IN FUCKING ITALY? I thought about it for half a nanosecond and then took daughter and flew to Italy for two weeks.
Have you ever tried to order a vegetarian meal in a language you do not speak? I don't recommend it. After half an hour of trying to communicate 'vegetarian' to a waiter via charades I finally gave up and ate meat. Yummy, cholesterol raising red meat. I fell off the wagon and have not managed to climb back on. I'm gonna have to read that book again.
So after I fell off the wagon, Thing 1 decided that he too was going to be a vegetarian. It was August of 2005. He was 9. And he hasn't eaten meat since. No beef, no pork, no poultry, no fish. Zip, nada, zilch. He decided to become a vegetarian because he loves animals and doesn't want to eat them or kill them. Before he eats anything he reads the list of ingredients to make sure it doesn't contain gelatin (it's made from horse hooves or bones or something) and soup is not acceptable if it has chicken or beef broth in it. I have to admire his dedication to a cause.
He has expressed dismay at his inability to give up ice cream and cake (eggs!) in order to go totally vegan but he consoles himself with not wearing leather and making me - and Grandmother! - buy all organic free range dairy & egg products. The fit he threw when I bought regular eggs one time had to be seen to be believed!
And you know what, he's sick less than any of the rest of us! Thing 2 and daughter both had the pukey flu this past year but Thing 1 didn't get it. He never even got a cold! And he's 2 inches taller than Thing 2.
I believe it's time to haul my ass back on the vegetarian wagon. Maybe I'll drag the rest of the family on with me...