Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Questions I Have for the Universe

Why do I need a resume to apply for grad school? Isn't there just a form I can fill out? For God's sake it's been SEVENTEEN YEARS since I made a resume. I can't remember half of the shit I've done in seventeen years let alone make it sound fabulous!

Why would a perfectly lovely girl make herself look ridiculous by wearing daisy dukes and Uggs? It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud at the total stranger I saw wearing this getup in Costco today.

Why is it that whenever my pencil lead runs out in class, I never have the right size of refill lead in my bag? NEVER.

Why does my dog still have fur on her body when she has shed enough on the floor of our house to make another dog?

Why does someone always have to step in dog shit and track it in the house the day after the cleaners come? Would it be too hard to do it the day BEFORE instead?

Why does my whole family ask me where their stuff is when they can't find it?

Why do I always know where their stuff is? It's not MY stuff and yet its location is taking up valuable real estate in my brain - that's why I can't remember anything I've done for the past seventeen years! All those brain cells are keeping track of coats, shoes, clothes, medication and tools that don't even belong to me. Dammit. Can I erase those files?

Why am I cutting back on red wine again? I know there was a good reason but right now I can't quite think of it...

1 comment:

The Hotfessional said...

Hey, when you get the answers, will you let me know?