A Question for other Parents of Teenagers

How do you convince them that actually TURNING IN an assignment they have COMPLETED is probably a good idea and that letting it rot in their backpack instead of getting credit for it is not the best way to succeed in school?

And you wonder why I drink...

Hodge-Podge

Here is Thing 1 holding baby President last weekend. He and Thing 2 were quite smitten with her when we visited but Thing 2 was wary of any baby bodily fluids coming into contact with his clothes or skin so he passed on holding her. As you can see, Thing 1 decided the benefits outweighed the risks.

My EMPTY dishwasher has been wide open for 24 hours and there are still dirty dishes all over the counters. I'm pretty sure husband and the kids are all going blind.

Teabaggers are not only crazy, they're ignorant too. Interesting how they weren't concerned with protecting our constitutional rights when the Patriot Act was passed.

The creators of South Park are my heroes. Muhammad in a bear suit? Funniest. Thing. Ever.

It looks like we're finally getting some goats and it was HUSBAND'S idea. My sis-in-law has a friend who is looking for a good home for three miniature goats. I think husband is hoping it will cut down on the lawn mowing. I'm just hoping that they'll make a dent in all the blackberry bushes growing in the back-forty.

That's all I've got for now. I'm pretty much living my life in bullet points these days because I'm saving my brain power for school. Yup, that's right. Y'all are getting leftover gray matter.

New Life

Yesterday was one of the top ten best days of my life - I was lucky enough to get to witness a beautiful baby make her entrance into the world.

Remember Skinny Bitch? Yesterday she gave birth to little 'President' (coming up with fun names for everyone is a true test of my brain power - those of you who know baby's real name should get a little chuckle at her 'blog name') at 11:45am. President was 7 pounds 3 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long. After teasing her mom with false labor all weekend, by yesterday morning President decided she was really going to make her entrance and she did NOT screw around. Skinny Bitch and Dunham got to the hospital at 8:30, I got there at 9 and then not even three hours later they had a baby! And Skinny Bitch is a trooper - no drugs at all and she never ONCE screamed obscenities at Dunham even though he was the one that knocked her up. She is a better woman than I am.

Here is beautiful little President, all clean and completely exhausted from her birth day ordeal.

And here she is being held by her big brother. I was there when he was born almost ten years ago - another one of the top ten best days of my life!

And here are the proud parents with their beautiful daughter.

I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends. I was honored that she wanted me there to support her during her labor and delivery and it was truly a magical day. Watching a baby enter the world is a reminder that life is precious and fragile and needs to be cherished. THAT is what's important, not all the little nagging details of life that I tend to get wrapped up in.

Welcome to the world little President, you are loved to the moon and back!

Beautiful Easter Babies

These two little Easter babies are too cute not to share. They are Spanish Teacher's baby girls all healthy, off oxygen (hooray!) and dressed up for Easter. You can't see it in this picture but their outfits have ruffled bloomers!!!

*passes out from the cuteness*

I had a rotten Easter (sick - ugh, stayed home to do homework - double ugh) but these beautiful Easter egg babies more than cheered me up. If only they didn't live in Denver so I could kiss them and squeeze them and hug them and call them George whenever I wanted to.

But there is another baby girl coming into the world any minute now and she lives nearby so I'll be able to get my baby fix anytime I want. Woot!

Fifteen Things I Hate

Because I am up to my freaking eyeballs with school stuff, parenting stuff, wife-y stuff, business stuff, house stuff, and grandma-sitting stuff I am going to borrow Jason's idea for a post so I can actually blog AND rant about shit that's been driving me bonkers lately. It's all about multi-tasking these days!

1. Group Projects and the ONE person in EVERY group who doesn't do what they are supposed to do and everyone else has to do their work or else let their own grade suffer.

2. Cold weather

3. Professors who don't return their students work - ever. If you are giving other people a deadline you damn well better be giving yourself one too.

4. PT Cruisers

5. Zits

6. Humongous sunglasses that make people look like flies

7. Cooked cauliflower - BARF

8. Fran Dresher's voice

9. Knot theory. (I actually dropped the class, I've never ever done that before)

10. Sleeping bags.

11. Cooking. When I win the lottery the first thing I'm hiring out is the cooking.

12. Spumoni Ice Cream

13. Rush Limbaugh et. al.

14. Pet hair all over every freaking thing in my house including the food

15. Tuition.

Thanks Jason! Now how 'bout you, what do you hate?

I Did Not Do My Homework

I don't think I'm ever going to learn that a class is NEVER what I expect it to be based on just the title. Next quarter I'm taking a class called "Mathematics Across the Curriculum" and I expected it to be something about using math in other disciplines as a teaching technique.

Today I read the class description -

"In this course, we will be doing math without solving any equations!! We will be looking at and understanding the precise mathematical definition of a knot. We will investigate different tools to determine when two knots are different and what this means. From the abstract theory, we will be progressing to knot theory applications in biology, physics, and chemistry, in particular, the effects of certain enzymes on DNA. We will hopefully have enough time to discuss the history of knot theory. No mathematical background is required, besides high school algebra and an openness to learn math using an extension cord!"

The recommended preparation is "Openess to use your mind to visualize a closed loop in 3-d."

I am so screwed.

Its Not Easy Being Green

We had a wee green visitor last night just in time for St. Patrick's Day. About nine o'clock daughter came into our bedroom and announced "THERE. IS. A. FROG. DOWNSTAIRS."

Being the brave, smart, clever, independent woman that I am, I looked at husband and said "Rodents, arachnids, and amphibians are YOUR job." After all, that is why I got married. So I never had to touch another creepy little home invader again. That and fixing the garbage disposal.

None of the kids wanted to touch it but they were all very concerned about its health and well being so husband captured it and let it go outside. Where it will most likely get eaten by one of the cats.

But I have to admit, it was a cute little thing.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!