The Politician

My and my boy, Thing 2, the politician. God I love this kid!

Homecoming Game 2010

The past two years have not prepared me for the total chaos of Homecoming Week with three kids involved in three different school activities - all of which are part of the Homecoming bru-ha-ha.

Here is our politician, Thing 2 Freshman Senator. He came to me a couple of weeks ago asking if I could make a flag that he and his fellow freshmen representatives had designed. I cut, I sewed, I ironed and voila - it turned out great. The best part is they can use it for the next four years. And the Freshman Golf Cart (each class decorates one) was the BEST EVER! Ha!

He was at school at 7am three days this past week (which of course meant I had to drive him instead of just kicking him out the door in time to catch the bus), had three evening events to set things up for assemblies, and then stayed after school Friday to set up for the dance on Saturday, decorate the golf cart and worked at the game.

Thing 1 plays trumpet in the marching band. They've had three evening practices in the past week on top of all the prior practices plus have been practicing every day at school. They ROCKED the halftime show!

This is a shot from the halftime show. Thing 1 is one of the trumpet players and Daughter is the tall dancer in the back (the girls with their hands over their eyes). The Dance Cats have also been to all the evening marching band practices PLUS practicing twice a week after school. This was - without a doubt - their BEST PERFORMANCE YET. I was up in the stands watching the whole show and they were amazing!!! Daughter had never danced before joining the school dance team (1 year in ballet at age 4 hardly counts, I just wanted the tu-tu pictures!). She has worked her ass off and I can't believe how much she has improved. And the whole team has really come together - their performance was polished and seamless.

This last pic is "my girls". Daugher is on the left, her BFF Monty - who pretty much lives at our house - is in the middle and her other BFF Bee is on the right. Daughter and Bee have been friends since middle school and even though Bee goes to a different high school now they have stayed close.

I'm exhausted but so proud of my kids. We had a great time at the game and I'm looking forward to chaperoning the dance tonight. If I can stay awake.

Spoiling the Children

Before I became a parent it never occurred to me that I'd have to guard against spoiling my kids. Spoiled brats are a pain in the ass and no one wants to be around them. I didn't want to live with any or raise any. We all know that one person who was obviously spoiled rotten as a child and as a result believe that the world revolves around what they want, what they think, what they feel, and what they believe. It's really hard to resist the urge to bash their teeth in isn't it?

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But as my kids get older, I find myself wanting to spoil them. WTF is up with that? I would absolutely love love LOVE to buy daughter a car for her upcoming sixteenth birthday and for the Things when they turn sixteen. Of course I'm not going to because I have a brain but what I want to know is where is that urge coming from?

Husband came home last month with an iPhone for daughter. The Things both have cell phones too. They are a huge convenience for me because all three of the kids are involved in school activities now so it makes it a hell of a lot easier for who needs a ride home when and where the hell are you I'm waiting right in front of the damn school! But they don't really NEED phones.

We're instituting a new policy for Daughter a.k.a. the SLOB and her room needs to be picked up every day (by her) and vacuumed every weekend (by her) or she doesn't get to go out with her friends or have friends over. In helping her get organized I realized she has more clothes than she has places to put them. Why does she have so many damn clothes? Oh. Yeah. I bought them for her. Dumbass.

So now I'm on restriction. I've put myself there. If I don't stop spoiling her - the Things don't have nearly as much stuff simply because they hate shopping - she's never gonna learn to take care of what she has. And that shit won't fly because I will not support a thirty-something year old adult. No more shopping trips with her. Which sucks because I love to shop too and we always have a really good time. No more doing the kids chores for them instead of making them do them. Over and over. Until they're done CORRECTLY. (Side note - Why are they incapable of seeing the dog hair on the stairs that they supposedly just swept?)

Good parents don't spoil their children. So why do I want to?

Maybe it's because they are really good kids. When I hear about their peers doing drugs, drinking, skipping class, getting or getting someone pregnant, having unprotected sex or telling their teachers to fuck off, I know just how lucky we are to have such great kids.

But they still need to learn how to clean the bathroom and do laundry before they go to college.

Parade Day

Saturday was Parade Day for our high school marching band which includes the flag and dance teams. Thing One plays the trumpet and Daughter is on the dance team so we left the house at o'dark-thirty to drive over the Cascades and into Leavenworth. The parade was part of the Autumn Leaf Festival and last year was our school's first year participating. They won FIRST PLACE in their division last year and guess what...they won FIRST PLACE again this year! Woot! Their band director and assistant have built an amazing performing arts program at our school and they get the kids to perform above and beyond every time.

Here is the band marching down main street in Leavenworth, a funky little Bavarian themed village in the gorgeous Cascade Mountains. If you are anywhere close to driving distance, I urge you to visit it during the fall when the leaves are changing. It will take your breath away.

Here is daughter posing - I was going for an "artsy" shot with her shadow in the background. It's not fine art but she loves it and I think it's pretty cute. Dance Cats is the name of the dance team.

And here is daughter and Thing One - posing together against their will. I told them if they didn't pose for a picture then I'd make them walk home. Ninety-five miles. They knew I meant it too.

It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day and we all had a great time. Good thing I got some sunshine because it's gray and rainy today. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Oh Happy Day

Last week was a doozy. Tuesday morning I was on my way out the door (in flip flops and pajamas, I'm pretty classy ya know) to take daughter to dance practice when I slipped and fell down the stairs. My - not inconsiderable - entire body weight fell right on my tailbone and broke it.

I wailed. My two extra kids - friends of daughter's who pretty much live here - had spent the night and all five of the kids were a bit freaked out at the sight of me rolling around screaming in pain while Husband tried to determine if he was going to be a widow or if I was just being hysterical.

So when the kids had their first day of school the next day, Husband was in charge of taking pictures since I was unable to move without howling. This year the Things are starting High School - lowly, lowly, Freshmen - and all three of the hellions will be at the same school with Daughter lording it over them as a Junior.

If you see Husband would you mind asking why the hell he thought taking pics from the top of the stairs was a good idea?

With the lack of actual GOOD pictures, I decided to go for comedy instead. Presenting - OH MY GOD I HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL WITH MY BROTHERS!

"So Daughter, are you excited for the first day of school? With Thing 1 and Thing 2?"

"I guess that's a no..."

"So what are you going to eat for lunch?"

"I don't care what your friends are doing, you may NOT eat your brothers for lunch!"

"Don't worry Thing 2, she won' REALLY eat you for lunch. She'll just stuff you in a locker."

"Have a nice day!"

Unfortunately my injury has prevented me from doing my annual back-to-school happy dance all over the neighborhood. But I'm THINKING it really, really hard.

Guest Post

Thing 1 has been driving me batshit crazy asking when I'm going to blog about his flags. I finally told him to do it himself. So here you go.

'Lo, fair people o' th' blogosphere! It's me, Thing 1. What a dippy nickname. Not that I didn't like the book...

Anyhoo, the point is that I'm a big flag buff. I have amassed a collection of twelve flags: eight 3x5 feet, three 12x18 inches, and one triangular flag of my mumsy's University. The ones you can't glimpse in these images are the aforementioned University flag, the 12x18 flags of Merrie England and Brave Scotland, and the 3x5 flags of Iran and Australia. I've got three Iranian: Imperial, Islamic, and Neutral Tricolour. They're simply lovely. Except the Islamic one; it looks like it's got an onion on it.

Some little funny things about flags intrigue me. For example, Libya has the world's simplest and most dreadfully boring flag: plain green, nothing else. Even the near-indistinguishable banners of Poland and Indonesia are more interesting! They're both two horizontal stripes; one red, one white. Look it up and try to memorize the difference. Go on, I dare you.

And without further ado or attempts to spark interest in flags, I give you them in all their glory!

Alright, I fooled you here. Whilst I searched mine humble dwelling-quarters for interesting things to photograph, I thought I might present this globe of mine. It's very useful, but I must remind myself that it gets one detail wrong: In Europe, in presents Yugoslavia, aka Serbia & Montenegro, as a real nation. That loose state union dissolved in 2006, when Montenegro withdrew, leaving Serbia. Then in 2008 the partially-recognized (and ridiculously small) nation of Kosovo seceded, sparking Serbian outrage. Funny, they didn't seem to mind with Montenegro. Maybe it was just the last straw.

Tally ho, chaps! Here's my jolly good Union Jack, eh wot! It cleverly combines the already smashing good flags of England, Scotland, Wales, and (Northern) Ireland! Though not Welsh, I am English-Scottish, meaning I'm technically British, cheerio! It's like a delicious combination of haggis and blood sausage! Oh wait, British food sucks. And I don't drink alcohol... Oh, to bloody hell with the food metaphor!

This TOTALLY RADICAL flag I found on a site known as www.flagsimporter.com. Not to advertise, but they've got some pretty creative stuff in there, like a USA/Mexico "friendship flag." Anyways, this flag you see above is a combination of those of the United States and Canada, eh? I think it would be awesome to bring to some close-to-the-border city or convention between Americans and Canadians. You want one too, admit it. Come on, you know you do.

In the foreground here might be my favorite, namely an Iranian flag. (You can see my U.S. and Canadian flags behind it.) I have a larger version of this as well in case you weren't paying attention, but this one I prefer because of its portability. So this flag is the one used when the Shah was in power. Not that I exactly like the Shah, but I do like the super-cool Lion & Sun design. It's become more of a patriotic symbol nowadays. Yeah, a badass lion holding a frickin' sword with the sun rising behind it. That beast could kill you just by looking at you. It could also even kill Chuck Norris in a fierce battle. But definitely not Mr. T.

The tricolor bit might be my favorite thing about it. Honestly, what three colors in what combination go together more beautifully? You should see it wave. In fact, you should see me dance. You should see me dance to Thriller. Yeah, baby!

Mr. Thing 2 Goes to Washington - Day One

Thing 2 is off with a group of his classmates on a whirlwind trip to Washington D.C. I thought about volunteering to go along as a chaperone until I saw their itinerary. They will stop at every single sight in the greater D.C. area for about seven nanoseconds. I'm pretty sure their schedule would kill me by the second day.

Sea-Tac airport is about an hour away from our house. To catch their 6am flight, the kids had to be at their school at Two. Thirty. A. M.

I got up to say goodbye but Husband drove him. Gag.

When Husband returned from his middle of the night expedition he declared that his son is a super genius.

There are five boys and fifty girls going on this trip. From the moment Thing 2 stepped out of the car at the school he was surrounded with girls. As were the other four boys. Geniuses, all five.

So here are the text messages I've received from him since he left on his adventure...

4:30am Smooth sailing. Just got my boarding pass. Waiting.

I didn't get this until 8am. Since I had gone back to bed and all.

11:53am Arrived at layover city. Busy going from one gate to another. Getting pizza. Forward to Richmond! Will take one Dramamine tablet now. Text if I need to know something.

Wonder if he will eat anything other than pizza for the next five days? Notice how he doesn't know that his layover is in St. Louis.

2:03pm Arrived at Richmond. Slept through most of flight. All okay.

I knew the Dramamine would knock him out. Probably should have given the chaperones enough for all of the kids to have one.

4:43pm Mmmm...pizza and ice cream.

He's gonna come home leaking pizza sauce out of his pores.

7:02pm Bus stopped at hotel. Awaiting my turn. Low battery. Text you again in a few minutes. Took lots of pics today.

7:41pm Dear god, how will I survive the night? My roommates are flatulent, cuss-crazy buffoons.

I miss you too sweetie.

Fourteen

Fourteen years ago my babies were in incubators. They were super tiny and stayed in the ICU for two weeks. When they came home, outfits in "preemie" size were too big.

Now they are taller than I am, super handsome, and FOURTEEN YEARS OLD!

And I have a lot more gray hair.

Happy birthday Thing 1 and Thing 2, I love you both to the moon and back!

This is SO COOL!

Masochist

Look at these ridiculous goats - are they not adorable? I love the head tilts, they look so perplexed. They have settled in nicely and are eating their way through the blackberries and evil, evil scotch-broom in our pasture. Now that we've fenced it, our next door neighbors bring their horses over for a snack of grass sometimes and the goats don't mind them at all. Unless they move suddenly - that causes a mini stampede of goats running for their lives. Very very funny to watch them running from a horse who is just shaking his head to get the flies off.

I made it through the first round of cuts for grad school and interviewed with two faculty members last Saturday. Now all I have to do is pull my hair out while I wait to hear if I've been accepted. Hopefully it will be soon because I'd look pretty funny with bald patches all over my head.

Because I seem to get a kick out of torturing myself with too much to do, I've started a mini-war with a certain member of our local school board. So far I've spoken, ahem, VEHEMENTLY at two board meetings and written several letters to the editor - two of which got published. What I'd really like to do is lobotomize her with a rusty spork but judging from her lack of mental ability, it looks like someone has already beat me to it. I'll rant more about that in the future I'm sure, it is NOT OVER!

The end of the year insanity has begun at the kids schools. Schools plural. As in three. I cannot express what a relief it will be to have then all in the same damn place next year. Even if I do have to bribe the dean of students weekly so the Things don't get suspended for beating on each other in between classes. Daughter has already informed them that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are they to speak to her, look at her, touch her, or let anyone know that they are related to her at all. I'm planning on putting fluorescent signs on their backs that say I AM [Daughter's Name] BROTHER! She will love it. The poor girl doesn't stand a chance. Between our impossible, weird, foreign and memorable last name, the Things *cough* reputation as "the super smart and slightly odd identical twins who beat the shit out of each other at school", and my over-involvement as a volunteer she will never be able to blend into the woodwork at school.

I have so much I want to write about - the recent legislation in Arizona, an amazing NGO working in Africa, awesome (and slightly scary) teaching blogs I've recently discovered - but it all has to wait until after June 13th when I will officially be a college graduate.

Someday I'll have enough time to do everything!

Great Galloping Goats

Because I don't have enough to do already, we've adopted five goats. They are freaking hysterical! The people kids have named the ruminant kids Goofy, Galoshes, Gypsy (all girls), Gizmo and Grizzle (boys with no balls). Obviously my people kids are weirdos.

Here are the goats nervously checking out the neighbors squawking chickens.

And here they are playing follow the leader with Daughter. Who I might add got up at SEVEN AM ON A SUNDAY to take care of them! Will wonders never cease?

We're hoping that the goats will help keep the blackberry bushes at bay. They have tons of personality and are extremely funny to watch. They've been a herd for almost four years and are so attached it's like they are tied together with an invisible rope. Where one goes - they all go. And when the people kids go into the pasture to play with them the goats all follow them around like puppy dogs. Our dog is disappointed they don't have opposable thumbs so they can throw the tennis ball for her, and the cats sit on the fence posts watching and wondering what they hell they are.

Now to keep husband from turning them into kabob... *snirk*

The Speech

Here is Thing 2's election speech. I think it's pretty clever but then I'm biased.

Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers were having a pretty great time dancing to jazz music and sitting on flagpoles. This is because fourscore and seven years ago it was 1923, and back then flagpole-sitting and jitterbugs were cool. But do you know what's cool right now? M High School! Yes, MHS, conceived here in M and dedicated to the proposition that all teenagers deserve a better education.

Now we are engaged in a great senatorial election, testing who will be a Freshman Senator at the high school next year. Now, who am I addressing? You. Yes you, the 8th graders! YOU will all be freshmen up at MHS next school year. If elected, I will be your class senator, representing all of you. I will be representing what YOU think! I will be representing YOUR thoughts, YOUR opinions, YOUR ideas and YOUR NEEDS! I will have the power to help change MHS to fit those needs! But, this can only happen if you vote for me. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here. It is rather for us to be dedicated to the great task remaining before us - that we shall elect a Senator whose devotion for the students is shown in the great lengths he goes to in order to improve the lives of the students - that we here highly resolve to have an intelligent, passionate Class Senate - that this school district, of M, shall have a new birth of freedom - and that government of the students, by the students, and for the students shall not perish from M High School.

Our Budding Politician

Yesterday was pretty exciting here at Casa Whatever - Thing 2 was elected to be a Freshman Senator at the high school next year! He made posters, campaigned, wrote a speech and delivered it to the ENTIRE student body of 500 kids plus all the teachers, staff, and visitors. Husband went to watch his speech yesterday morning and was blown away by the response Thing 2 got from the kids. They jumped up yelling and screaming, yelled "We Love You [Thing 2]" and just went nuts in general. I got to see it on husbands iPhone video and it was AWESOME.

Here he is with his co-Senator...

This is quite possibly the best parenting moment of my life. Middle school has been a tumultuous time for Thing 2 with several transitions as we tried to find the best place for him. The decision to enroll him not only into a different school than Thing 1 but into this particular school is easily the best decision we've ever made. Every single staff member from the Principal to the paraeducators to the custodians care about the students and will do whatever it takes to help them be successful and happy at school. I cannot say enough about how incredibly lucky we are to live in such a wonderful school district full of people who love and care about the students.

Two years ago Thing 2 never wanted to set foot in a school again. It was a miserable place for him and that unhappiness affected every facet of his life. Today he is eager to go to school, has lots of friends, and is excited and enthusiastic about what he is learning.

We are so lucky to have such a wonderful village to help us raise healthy, happy kids and are so very proud of him.

New Life

Yesterday was one of the top ten best days of my life - I was lucky enough to get to witness a beautiful baby make her entrance into the world.

Remember Skinny Bitch? Yesterday she gave birth to little 'President' (coming up with fun names for everyone is a true test of my brain power - those of you who know baby's real name should get a little chuckle at her 'blog name') at 11:45am. President was 7 pounds 3 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long. After teasing her mom with false labor all weekend, by yesterday morning President decided she was really going to make her entrance and she did NOT screw around. Skinny Bitch and Dunham got to the hospital at 8:30, I got there at 9 and then not even three hours later they had a baby! And Skinny Bitch is a trooper - no drugs at all and she never ONCE screamed obscenities at Dunham even though he was the one that knocked her up. She is a better woman than I am.

Here is beautiful little President, all clean and completely exhausted from her birth day ordeal.

And here she is being held by her big brother. I was there when he was born almost ten years ago - another one of the top ten best days of my life!

And here are the proud parents with their beautiful daughter.

I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends. I was honored that she wanted me there to support her during her labor and delivery and it was truly a magical day. Watching a baby enter the world is a reminder that life is precious and fragile and needs to be cherished. THAT is what's important, not all the little nagging details of life that I tend to get wrapped up in.

Welcome to the world little President, you are loved to the moon and back!

Beautiful Easter Babies

These two little Easter babies are too cute not to share. They are Spanish Teacher's baby girls all healthy, off oxygen (hooray!) and dressed up for Easter. You can't see it in this picture but their outfits have ruffled bloomers!!!

*passes out from the cuteness*

I had a rotten Easter (sick - ugh, stayed home to do homework - double ugh) but these beautiful Easter egg babies more than cheered me up. If only they didn't live in Denver so I could kiss them and squeeze them and hug them and call them George whenever I wanted to.

But there is another baby girl coming into the world any minute now and she lives nearby so I'll be able to get my baby fix anytime I want. Woot!

Hold Me

I've been very busy lately. No - not with homework, exams, laundry, and shoveling food into the Things as fast as possible (all of a sudden they are eating everything that isn't nailed down) - I've been busy gripping the dashboard of my car hard enough to leave dents. The PASSENGER side of the dashboard...

Daughter has her learner's permit.

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Being daughter's passenger is a surreal experience. I look at her - in the drivers seat - and all I can see is my pigtailed preschooler. Instead she is a young lady and learning to drive. How the hell did that happen? It's like being caught in The Parental Twilight Zone.

If we didn't live in mass transit no-mans-land I might have postponed enrolling her in drivers ed classes but between literary arts club, dance team, softball and art club I am DESPERATE for her to be able to get herself around without me. Being a taxi driver was never on my list of careers I desire.

The amount of money we had to shell out for the program is enough to show you how desperate I am. Holy FUCK is drivers ed expensive! WHT happened to $150 and .5 credits in school?

And adding to my list of things to do is the fact that she HATES driving with husband. I'm not sure why - maybe it's his habit of screaming like a little girl if she gets a wee bit too close to the center lane - but the lion's share of the practice hours has fallen to me. I am more patient than I ever thought possible. I've only grabbed the wheel once and haven't screamed at all! Aren't you proud of me?

Actually she is a very good driver and thank goodness she has not inherited my lead foot. In fact I have to remind her to maintain her speed at the speed limit pretty regularly. The drivers behind us get a little cranky if she's creeping along at 15mph in a 40mph zone.

Anyone wanna go for a ride?

Beautiful Baby Girls

I'm in Denver where - thankfully - Spanish teacher is recovering nicely. We visited the girls at the NICU today where I got to hold them and make goo-goo noises at them and generally make a total fool out of myself.

It was wonderful!

They are gaining weight, starting to nurse and doing a good job keeping their body temperatures up. Hopefully they will be able to come home soon where their big brother and sister are eager to get to know them better.

Thanks for all the prayers and get well vibes, everyone is on their way to getting healthy!

This is for Things 1 and 2

I suspect they might want the building instructions after they watch it...

Baby Boom

Recently on Marvelous Mom's side of the family we have experienced a baby boom. I don't know if it is something in the water, genetic crops or alien interference but just to be safe I've been making Husband sleep on the couch. With my luck I'd get pregnant with quadruplets if I let him sleep in the same bed as me and then I would have to jump off a bridge. So we're playing it safe and enjoying OTHER people's babies.

This is my cousin with his first child Adorable. She is the most beautiful baby girl ever and we all fought over who got to hold her. He finally got a chance at the end of the evening. Don't feel sorry for him, the lucky dog gets to live with her.

This is my OTHER cousin's beautiful baby girl Sassy who is just a wee bit older than Adorable and so freaking cute I wanted to eat her up. Does the drool on my chin show up in the photo?

Here is (from left to right) Marvelous Mom, Aunt J and Aunt L with baby Adorable. Aunt J is Adorable's grandmother and so proud that her buttons were bursting. Adorable was making her presence known. I'm pretty sure they could hear her in the next state.

And here I am holding Adorable. It's amazing but I'd forgot how tiny new babies are! She is just a little love and I can't wait to see her again.

I've got a TON to tell y'all about so I'll try to get cracking before my schoolwork buries me again.

Happy New Year!

Cartooning at its Finest

This is the card Thing 1 made for Grandmother's ninety-fourth birthday. The kid is pretty serious and straight-laced in person but his drawings expose his inner goofball. Someday I'll tell you about the series of comic books he made in elementary school about Clam Man and his loyal sidekick Mollusk Boy...