Baby Bash

I don't know about all of you, but in my world there is a baby BOOM! The next baby will arrive sometime in April and last weekend I threw a baby shower for my friend of 30+ years, Skinny Bitch.

I'm pretty sure there is something in the air so I've been making Husband sleep on the couch for 6 months JUST. IN. CASE.

This baby (A GIRL! WOOT!) is her second. She's doing the same thing my parents did and spacing the rugrats out by about nine years. Isn't she beautiful?

Since we've been friends since I was in third grade and she was in fifth, Grandmother is as much hers as she is mine and loves her very much.

The next pic is Marvelous Mom, Me, Skinny Bitch, and the Talker. Back before new jobs, full-time school and Spanish Teacher moving away we all used to get together and scrapbook. It was really just an excuse to hang out and talk, laughing our asses off the whole time but whatever. Now that I look at this picture again, we kind of look like a Wireless Cellphone commercial stairstepped shortest to tallest like this.

The Talker made the quilt Skinny Bitch is holding up in the picture below. I may have to sneak into Skinny Bitches house and steal it from her, it's so soft and cuddly! I tell you, the Talker can do ANYTHING. Installing tile, scrapbooking, sewing, painting, remodeling - all while raising three boys. Makes me tired just thinking about it!

And finally here we are. I can't believe that it's been more than 30 years since we met each other riding our bikes up and down the street we grew up on! I doubt there is anyone else who knows me as well as she does. We will be friends forever - someday we'll be two gray-haired old ladies in rocking chairs on a porch bossing our grandchildren around.

I love you bunches Row and cannot wait to meet my new niece! xoxo

My Stepmonster and Me (apologies to Shrek fans everywhere)

Friday night we got our party on with my Dad, Stepmonster and the rest of the family.  They were here all weekend for my, um, Step-Uncle's (?) wedding and festivities.  The family tree got pretty complicated when Dad married a woman 16 years younger than him who is also YOUNGER than my husband - her soninlaw - who is 12 years older than me.  Got that? 

 No?  Good.  I'm aiming for total confusion.  Stepmonster's little sister, my AUNT, is just 20.  And her mother, my kids GREAT-GRANDMOTHER, is younger than my father, their grandfather.  We have so much fun fucking with people when they ask about our family tree! 

As you can see, I hold Stepmonster in the highest regard and have nothing but respect for her wisdom and authority over me.

The other reason we get along so well is our shared love of and devotion to red wine.  (And margaritas - Stepmonster makes the best damn margaritas in the known universe - but we restrained ourselves to only one alcoholic beverage out of respect for motherinlaw who might have exploded with the scandal of her daughterinlaw drinking not one but TWO types of alcohol in a few short hours.  The things I do for my family, the sacrifices I make.  Sigh.)