Sucker Punched

Last Thursday my training wheels were removed and I got to sub for Superteacher ALL BY SELF! (After 1 quarter of student teaching we have the option of a conditional intern teaching certificate to sub for our master teacher during our 2nd quarter of student teaching and get paid. I took the option!) She was at a conference Thursday and Friday so I flew solo. It went very well, I tried something new that ended up not going super well purely because our classroom is too small, and the kids were great if a little chattier than usual.

At 3 Thursday afternoon Husband was en-route to Seatac Airport for a guys weekend in Vegas and I was on my way to the district office to meet with the HR lady and fill out EMPLOYMENT paperwork. (Woot Woot!) I called Husband to say goodbye and have fun and he filled me in on the Thing 2 drama that had transpired while I was wrangling seventh graders.

A boy had slammed Thing 2's head down on his desk during the first couple minutes of 5th period. It was a sucker punch, Thing 2's back was to the kid and he had no idea it was coming. The nurse called Husband to let him know that he seemed ok but they were checking him out just in case and an 'incident' form was coming home with him. Two seconds after Husband got off the phone with the school, Daughter called him and said all in one breath, "Thing 2 got beat up and I'm gonna go find the punk-ass snot that did it and kill him."

He was so proud of her. Just when we're afraid that our kids will never ever ever get along and be friends, they shock the shit out of us. However, he did tell her not to do that because then she would get in trouble. ("Wait until after school when you're off school grounds" may or may not have been what he said. Heh.)

The funniest thing of all were the facebook posts. I don't care what anyone says, I LOVE facebook and this is why:

THING 2: "Dumb Student punched me in he head while my back was turned in 5th period. He hits like an undernourished teletubby with a muscular disease. Last I saw of him, Mr. Math Teacher was tossing him out of the room like he would with a bag of marshmallows that just insulted his mother."

GOD I LOVE THAT KID! "Hits like an undernourished teletubby with a muscular disease"? That right there is a golden insult!!!

Ten minutes later on Facebook:

DAUGHTER: "So some punk sophomore thinks he can hit my little brother? I think I'd better have a talk with this kid."

Then her friends go on to tell her exactly how obnoxious this kid is, how his girlfriend - who loves to needle Thing 2 until she gets a reaction out of him - manipulated the whole thing and then taunted Thing 2 about it, and how they will all help her get revenge.

The rest of my afternoon was spent getting the entire story out of Thing 2 and Daughter's friends that witnessed the whole thing and emailing back and forth with the Dean of Students who initially was going to punish Thing 2 for calling the boys girlfriend an asshole which apparently started the whole thing. And watching Thing 2 to make sure he didn't have a concussion as per the nurse's instructions. Thing 2 said it really wasn't bad but apparently it LOOKED really bad because Mr. Math Teacher wanted to call an aid car. And Husband was on his way to Vegas so I got to deal with it ALL BY SELF. Well, with a little help from my good friend Red Wine.

Don't worry, the kid got suspended for 5 days and since the school is treating it as an assault may end up with further consequences, and I won't let my kids and their friends hurt him. Much.

My life - it is never boring.

Whatevertober Parts 3, 4, & 5: Memento (2000)

Good evening, illusions! This is your host, Thing Two! I'd like to personally apologize for the late update(s). You see, we came down with a severe case of vagueish problemitis. Also, I was busy watching and rewatching Memento (sadly, without any guest commentators), which so happens to be tonight's film! I apologize in advance for the lack of spoilers. I know how much everybody loves spoilers to a really good recent movie that shouldn't be spoiled.

Memento isn't really a horror flick so much as it is an intellectual thriller (we can do thrillers as well as horror films, and this apparently even extends to Godzilla movies); the kind that demands your attention. And damn, but do you have to pay a lot of attention to this one!

The whole film is viewed from the perspective of the protagonist Leonard Shelby, who has memory problems and something to do with a murder or two. There are sequences filmed in color, which go in reverse chronological order, and sequences filmed in black and white, which go in regular chronological order. "Confusing" is an understatement. There was a mind-boggling number of mind-bogglers the first time I watched it through. I had so many questions that needed to be answered, I resolved to watch it a second time the next night. And so I did.

The second viewing absolutely floored me. It was like watching a different film. Now so much more made sense! So that's why *SPOILERS* was *SPOILERS* to *SPOILERS*! They were trying to *SPOILERS* the entire time! Well, almost the entire time. However, there were still a few things that I still did not understand, so, having never watched a movie thrice in a row, I decided to watch it for a third time! And that's what I did tonight. I think I get everything, but I may have to let it all sink in for a while.

Anyway, if you like psychological thrillers and repeated viewings (read: Inception), then you'll probably like Memento! Four out of five reverse-reverse-antireverse-rereverse plot twists!

Tomorrow night, we eat bullets! Or, y'know, watch Poltergeist. Whatever.
I truly am really, really sorry for the short update. I promise it'll be better tomorrow.

Octoberfest Part 2: The Exorcist (1973)

Good evening, children of God! This is your host, Thing Two! Welcome to the second spine-chilling sequence of Whatevertober, with guest commentators Thing One and Katy herself, who picked out tonight's movie! Speaking of which, let's get to that. Tonight's feature: The Exorcist!

THING TWO: I know I promised not to do summaries or recaps, but I couldn't pass this one up. All right, so tonight we watched The Exorcist, a touching yet bittersweet tale of a loving mother, her sweet little daughter, a down-on-his-luck priest who's offered a second chance, and an vengeful Iraqi spirit that hates friendly upper-class American families for some reason.

The movie starts off with an aging Indiana Jones on an archaeological dig in northern Iraq (sometimes called Kurdistan), where he eventually confronts an ancient statue. It is revealed to him through nonverbal psychic exchanges that the time-traveling ghost of Saddam Hussein is seeking revenge on the decadent and corrupt Americans. Naturally, Indy rushes back to the USA as fast as dotted red lines can carry him.

Back in America, we meet two more of the main characters: Julia Roberts and Reagan. Reagan complains about how that meanie Gorbachev won't put his book down during tests to let Reagan copy his answers. Oh, and there's something about a space cowboy, too. Captain Howdy, I think his name was. Then we get to meet the other protagonist, Rocky Balboa, who is undergoing a faith crisis.

The storyline is split between Julia Roberts and Rocky for a while. Julia Roberts finds that the vibrating massage bed isn't working out for Reagan, and she gets it replaced with a non-malfunctioning one. But tragedy strikes again, as Reagan listens to too much heavy metal and in the middle of the night starts headbanging a bit too enthusiastically. Then Reagan wets herself at a party, embarrassing poor Julia Roberts to no end. The montage is quite the comedy of errors. Reagan is taken to Asshole Psychiatry, Inc. where the doctors misdiagnose her in every imaginable way before admitting to their quackery and advising Roberts to seek out a professional archaeologist (preferably a WWII veteran) or a rookie boxer.

At this point, the storylines merge. Up until now, Rocky had been mourning the death of his personal trainer Mickey and questioning his faith. Indiana Jones had been battling clockwork Nazi golems offscreen. Julia Roberts asks Rocky for help, who in turn asks Indy for help. They all meet up at the Roberts household, where they find Reagan restrained, bruised, battered, and wearing hideous puke-green contact lenses. At first they have trouble figuring out what's wrong with Reagan. Initially, they dismiss the possibility of possession by an angry Middle Eastern dictator's spirit (since Reagan's room is like an icebox, and one would think that some like it hot over in Arabia), but the contact lenses give Saddam away (Hussein was famous for his terrible fashion sense).

To counter Hussein, Indy and Rocky read aloud Led Zeppelin lyrics and sprinkle Reagan's body with the tears of Kurdish children. It proves to be ineffective, as Saddam kills Indy with the constant mental image of Shia LaBeouf's face (this truly was his last crusade). Rocky, inspired by the memory of Mickey's training, grabs Saddam's ghost in a stranglehold and wrestles him out the window. Rocky's sheer willpower manages to banish Saddam Hussein back to Hell once and for all. Unfortunately, Rocky lands on a flight of stairs and breaks his own neck. Julia Roberts and Reagan live and move to Argentina (or possibly Connecticut). But what about Rocky and Indy? Oh, don't worry...Darth Vader resurrects them in The Exorcist II. No, really, James Earl Jones is in the sequel.

But seriously, I liked The Exorcist. It's not really a scary movie, but I like it as a thriller nonetheless. It's a story of faith and connection, and it works. As for everyone out there? Well, if you're old enough to get over Reagan's demonic makeup and distorted voices, then check it out! As long as you aren't expecting Ghostbusters, it won't disappoint! I give it five out of five pea soup regurgitations.

KATY: The scariest thing about the Exorcist is the idea of losing a child. Poor Regan is lost to her mother and that is the ultimate boogeyman...someone taking your baby. So very very scary...

Thing 2 is the Antichrist, I'm gonna have to become catholic now.

Whatevertober Part 1: Dracula (1931)

Good evening, counts and countesses! This is your host, Thing Two! Welcome to a new feature of Whatever that we like to call Whatevertober! Every night of October, I will be watching a horror or thriller movie and providing short afterthoughts with one or a few guests watching it with me and providing even shorter afterthoughts. So you now all have thirty-one entertaining blog posts to look forward to (thirty, if you don’t count this one)! If you are familiar with Cinemassacre's annual series, Monster Madness, then you should recognize the similarities. As in, this is exactly the same as Monster Madness, but in blog format. And it isn’t recaps, it’s afterthoughts on the viewing experience. With guest stars. But anyway, let us move on. Without further ado, here is the first entry of Whatevertober, with guest commentator Thing One! Tonight’s film: Dracula!



THING TWO: Several years ago, we purchased the two-disc 75th Anniversary DVD edition of Dracula. (Whew! There’s a technical mouthful for you!) Tonight, I finally got around to watching it. Really, it was actually Thing One’s idea to dust it off and give it a try. I think that he nailed it (pun intended) with Dracula. There couldn’t be a more appropriate choice for the first entry of Whatevertober. And here’s why.

Dracula, to put it bluntly, is a timeless classic. It’s a masterpiece, truly ahead of its time. Vampire movies are now a cornerstone of the horror genre. There are so many vampire movies nowadays. How many good vampire films that have come out in recent years can you think of? What vampire movies have you seen growing up? Thirty Days of Night? The Lost Boys? The 90s remake of Dracula? Everyone’s seen a few. But the original…is Nosferatu. The original with sound is Dracula, starring the master himself, Bela Lugosi. Oh man, Bela Lugosi…he’s awesome. Bela Lugosi is like the Chuck Norris of horror. (Boris Karloff is the Bruce Lee of horror.) That iconic cape, that spine-chilling stare, the etcetera etcetera. I really don’t feel like repeating what has been said a thousand times over. You all know how iconic Dracula is. Let’s skip ahead to my actual thoughts on the film.

It’s awesome. ‘Nuff said.

What, you want more?

Oh, fine. I’ll start with the music, or lack thereof. There is only one bit of soundtrack in the entire movie, and that’s at the opening credits. But that single snippet of score is more than enough to set the unnerving mood. The omnipresent silence that follows for the next hour and a quarter is downright disturbing. It’s…well, it’s creepy. What else can I say?

I can talk about other stuff. Like the performances. They’re a little cheesy sometimes, but what would you expect? Dracula was released in 1931. (That sentence sounds funny. For me, it just now conjured up a mental image of Dracula being let out of a cage after waiting since the 1800s.) The set pieces are absolutely fantastic, and do a wonderful job of setting the mood. Speaking of the mood, the atmosphere is so thick, you could slice it with a knife. (That’s a good thing.) The one special effect is the bats. I saw the string at one point. But again, it’s from 1931. It’s more than forgiven.

All in all, Dracula is a treasured gem of cinema. If you haven’t seen it yet, check it out! I give it five out of five Lugosi creeper stares.

THING ONE: The grand daddy of horror. A must-see for any fan of anything ever. Five out of five delicious Hungarian accents.

See you tomorrow, when we tackle another thriller! Until then, counts and countesses, good night.

Thing 2 is doing this as an extra-credit project for his drama class, I'm not sure his teacher knows exactly what he has unleashed upon the world!

Senior Pictures

These are two pics I snapped with my phone while daughter was having her Senior pictures taken. The first one was taken using the Hipstamatic Ap for iPhone and the second was the regular iPhone camera then edited with Picnik.

I cannot believe this beautiful creature is related to me - she is growing up so fast and we are unbelievably proud of her!

FREEDOM!

I am slowly being unshackled from the bonds of teenage activities - DAUGHTER HAS HER DRIVER'S LICENSE!!! It took 4 shots at the written test and 3 at the driving test but she is now legally able to drive herself and, just as importantly, her brothers around.

The calendar on her phone now has several dates - with the alarm reminder set on LOUD - that she is responsible for picking up Thing 2 from driver's ed and taking Thing 1 to tennis practice because I will be student teaching full time starting on Thursday. Girl got driving just in the nick of time!

Here she is before her very first solo drive, to go shopping naturally.

Hey, wait a minute. She's driving away. WITHOUT ME! INTO THE COLD, CRUEL WORLD ALONE!!!!

Life will never be the same.

Gratuitous Whining

Getting back into the swing of reality after a trip of a lifetime is a drag.

I know, shut up Katy, what a first-world problem to have. May you all have such a problem to deal with someday.

Thing 1 has decided to swap band for tennis, Thing 2 is taking driver's ed classes, and daughter has a bazillion dance classes/practices every week. Next week is going to be especially exciting because it is the infamous BAND CAMP WEEK.

Not THAT kind of band camp. You pervs. The kind of band camp where the marching band, dance and flag teams practice for 6-8 hours a day (I hear it's more like 12 in college) for a week in preparation for football season and, in the case of our high school, the parade they march in that kicks off the state fair in our city. So even though Thing 1 isn't in band, daughter is on the dance team and has practice every day next week. Thing 1 has tennis practice every morning next week and Thing 2 has drivers ed class every day next week. And I have 2 full days of workshops and seminars to get ready for student teaching.

But on the plus side, daughter WILL pass her drivers test tomorrow at 11am Pacific Time (cross all your fingers and toes for us will ya?) so she WILL be able to get herself and her brother to practices. Husband is gonna have to pick up the slack on the two days I'm learning about student teaching, I just have to tell him.

And after school starts we will be juggling two different district calendars - the district where I'll be student teaching and the district where the kids go to school - as well as all the kids extracurricular activities and my twice-weekly evening classes. Ugh.

But my student teaching is only for seven months. I can do anything for seven months.

I hope.

I Quit

I am becoming closely acquainted with Craig and his List these days, happily pouring over photos of cars, blue book values, and engine specs. Daughter showed me her schedule for next fall and there is no WAY I will be able to get her to 5 dance classes and 2-4 dance team practices every week. Not to mention the Friday night football games, after school events, and study club meetings at our local library. And since we are selling our extra car to my BFF so she can chauffeur her lovely littles around for the next 15 years, we have to buy Daughter a car.

Car shopping is one of my favorite activities. I've been know to look at cars for sale even when we are NOT going to buy one. My idea of a perfect car for daughter is something small and cute. I've been lusting after this for years...

Or one of these. LOOK AT THOSE ORANGE WHEELS! So freaking cute.

Unfortunately, Husband is only willing to part with enough money to purchase something like this...

Cheapskate.

And Daughter is No. Help. At. All. I've already told you about her curious lack of interest in cars and driving and the situation hasn't improved at all. When I asked her what kind of car she would like - 2 doors, 4 doors, sedan, hatchback, etc. - her answer was, and I quote, "I dunno. Not green". NOT GREEN. What kind of teenager, when asked for input on what type of vehicle they like, answers with NOT GREEN?!?!

I suspect this particular car search will take all freaking summer. Or I'll just say to hell with it, I'm buying something I like.

Either way, come the end of August, I am resigning as her chauffeur.

The Things Turn Has Come

So remember when I put my 15 year old daughter on a plane to the other side of the world where there are SHARKS with FRICKIN' LASERS? Well now it is the boys turn to get as far away from their Mother as they can. (They'll still be stuck with their father however, Husband is going too.) On March 24th all three of my guys will be leaving for a three week trip to Iran!

In honor of their first trip abroad, and just to entertain myself, I made my own version of the Sharks with Frickin' Lasers map but Iran instead of Australia. It's not as funny but it makes me giggle.

As you can see from the map (heh), Husband's immediate family is in Tehran. But they will be traveling to other cities - probably Esfahan, Shiraz, and maybe Hamadan. The Things are excited beyond belief and so is Husband's family! Their youngest cousin there is a boy exactly their age and we're hoping they'll be able to go to school with him for a day so they can see what school is like there. There are four other first cousins, all about high school/early college age, as well as tons of extended family who will all be anxious to finally meet them.

I'm excited for them and not nearly as nervous as I was when Daughter went to the land down under. But the Persians better not decide to join their Egyptian neighbors in mass protests and revolution while they're there!

The Politician

My and my boy, Thing 2, the politician. God I love this kid!

My Beautiful Girl

The Homecoming Dance was a lot of fun! We all went to dinner - and I do mean ALL. Daughter, Bee, Monty, Baron Munchausen, Thing 1, Thing 2, Grandmother, Husband and I all enjoyed a nice dinner. Here are the dance-goers in their finery. Isn't Daughter beautiful? She makes my heart ache I love her so much.

And this is a terrible AWFUL pic of me (Daughter is beautiful as always) but I think it's funny because I am such a shorty next to her!!! She's had another growth spurt and is fast approaching 5' 10". She's taking after Scientist Genius Brother. Me...well, I took after Marvelous Mom's side of the family. The Seven Dwarfs only four and all girls. It's all good. I'm not really short - I'm FUN SIZED!

Homecoming Game 2010

The past two years have not prepared me for the total chaos of Homecoming Week with three kids involved in three different school activities - all of which are part of the Homecoming bru-ha-ha.

Here is our politician, Thing 2 Freshman Senator. He came to me a couple of weeks ago asking if I could make a flag that he and his fellow freshmen representatives had designed. I cut, I sewed, I ironed and voila - it turned out great. The best part is they can use it for the next four years. And the Freshman Golf Cart (each class decorates one) was the BEST EVER! Ha!

He was at school at 7am three days this past week (which of course meant I had to drive him instead of just kicking him out the door in time to catch the bus), had three evening events to set things up for assemblies, and then stayed after school Friday to set up for the dance on Saturday, decorate the golf cart and worked at the game.

Thing 1 plays trumpet in the marching band. They've had three evening practices in the past week on top of all the prior practices plus have been practicing every day at school. They ROCKED the halftime show!

This is a shot from the halftime show. Thing 1 is one of the trumpet players and Daughter is the tall dancer in the back (the girls with their hands over their eyes). The Dance Cats have also been to all the evening marching band practices PLUS practicing twice a week after school. This was - without a doubt - their BEST PERFORMANCE YET. I was up in the stands watching the whole show and they were amazing!!! Daughter had never danced before joining the school dance team (1 year in ballet at age 4 hardly counts, I just wanted the tu-tu pictures!). She has worked her ass off and I can't believe how much she has improved. And the whole team has really come together - their performance was polished and seamless.

This last pic is "my girls". Daugher is on the left, her BFF Monty - who pretty much lives at our house - is in the middle and her other BFF Bee is on the right. Daughter and Bee have been friends since middle school and even though Bee goes to a different high school now they have stayed close.

I'm exhausted but so proud of my kids. We had a great time at the game and I'm looking forward to chaperoning the dance tonight. If I can stay awake.

Spoiling the Children

Before I became a parent it never occurred to me that I'd have to guard against spoiling my kids. Spoiled brats are a pain in the ass and no one wants to be around them. I didn't want to live with any or raise any. We all know that one person who was obviously spoiled rotten as a child and as a result believe that the world revolves around what they want, what they think, what they feel, and what they believe. It's really hard to resist the urge to bash their teeth in isn't it?

see more Lol Celebs

But as my kids get older, I find myself wanting to spoil them. WTF is up with that? I would absolutely love love LOVE to buy daughter a car for her upcoming sixteenth birthday and for the Things when they turn sixteen. Of course I'm not going to because I have a brain but what I want to know is where is that urge coming from?

Husband came home last month with an iPhone for daughter. The Things both have cell phones too. They are a huge convenience for me because all three of the kids are involved in school activities now so it makes it a hell of a lot easier for who needs a ride home when and where the hell are you I'm waiting right in front of the damn school! But they don't really NEED phones.

We're instituting a new policy for Daughter a.k.a. the SLOB and her room needs to be picked up every day (by her) and vacuumed every weekend (by her) or she doesn't get to go out with her friends or have friends over. In helping her get organized I realized she has more clothes than she has places to put them. Why does she have so many damn clothes? Oh. Yeah. I bought them for her. Dumbass.

So now I'm on restriction. I've put myself there. If I don't stop spoiling her - the Things don't have nearly as much stuff simply because they hate shopping - she's never gonna learn to take care of what she has. And that shit won't fly because I will not support a thirty-something year old adult. No more shopping trips with her. Which sucks because I love to shop too and we always have a really good time. No more doing the kids chores for them instead of making them do them. Over and over. Until they're done CORRECTLY. (Side note - Why are they incapable of seeing the dog hair on the stairs that they supposedly just swept?)

Good parents don't spoil their children. So why do I want to?

Maybe it's because they are really good kids. When I hear about their peers doing drugs, drinking, skipping class, getting or getting someone pregnant, having unprotected sex or telling their teachers to fuck off, I know just how lucky we are to have such great kids.

But they still need to learn how to clean the bathroom and do laundry before they go to college.

He's Back!

Thing 2 is back from his Washington D.C. adventure! As I went thru his pictures it was obvious that I need to send him to a photography class. But someone took this pic of him and it's my favorite.

I'm going to let him post tomorrow and tell you all about his trip. Because he was there and I wasn't but more importantly because when he reads my blog he's going to see that Thing 1 got to write a guest post and he will throw seven kinds of fits about how that is the most unfair thing in the entire universe. So until tomorrow...

Guest Post

Thing 1 has been driving me batshit crazy asking when I'm going to blog about his flags. I finally told him to do it himself. So here you go.

'Lo, fair people o' th' blogosphere! It's me, Thing 1. What a dippy nickname. Not that I didn't like the book...

Anyhoo, the point is that I'm a big flag buff. I have amassed a collection of twelve flags: eight 3x5 feet, three 12x18 inches, and one triangular flag of my mumsy's University. The ones you can't glimpse in these images are the aforementioned University flag, the 12x18 flags of Merrie England and Brave Scotland, and the 3x5 flags of Iran and Australia. I've got three Iranian: Imperial, Islamic, and Neutral Tricolour. They're simply lovely. Except the Islamic one; it looks like it's got an onion on it.

Some little funny things about flags intrigue me. For example, Libya has the world's simplest and most dreadfully boring flag: plain green, nothing else. Even the near-indistinguishable banners of Poland and Indonesia are more interesting! They're both two horizontal stripes; one red, one white. Look it up and try to memorize the difference. Go on, I dare you.

And without further ado or attempts to spark interest in flags, I give you them in all their glory!

Alright, I fooled you here. Whilst I searched mine humble dwelling-quarters for interesting things to photograph, I thought I might present this globe of mine. It's very useful, but I must remind myself that it gets one detail wrong: In Europe, in presents Yugoslavia, aka Serbia & Montenegro, as a real nation. That loose state union dissolved in 2006, when Montenegro withdrew, leaving Serbia. Then in 2008 the partially-recognized (and ridiculously small) nation of Kosovo seceded, sparking Serbian outrage. Funny, they didn't seem to mind with Montenegro. Maybe it was just the last straw.

Tally ho, chaps! Here's my jolly good Union Jack, eh wot! It cleverly combines the already smashing good flags of England, Scotland, Wales, and (Northern) Ireland! Though not Welsh, I am English-Scottish, meaning I'm technically British, cheerio! It's like a delicious combination of haggis and blood sausage! Oh wait, British food sucks. And I don't drink alcohol... Oh, to bloody hell with the food metaphor!

This TOTALLY RADICAL flag I found on a site known as www.flagsimporter.com. Not to advertise, but they've got some pretty creative stuff in there, like a USA/Mexico "friendship flag." Anyways, this flag you see above is a combination of those of the United States and Canada, eh? I think it would be awesome to bring to some close-to-the-border city or convention between Americans and Canadians. You want one too, admit it. Come on, you know you do.

In the foreground here might be my favorite, namely an Iranian flag. (You can see my U.S. and Canadian flags behind it.) I have a larger version of this as well in case you weren't paying attention, but this one I prefer because of its portability. So this flag is the one used when the Shah was in power. Not that I exactly like the Shah, but I do like the super-cool Lion & Sun design. It's become more of a patriotic symbol nowadays. Yeah, a badass lion holding a frickin' sword with the sun rising behind it. That beast could kill you just by looking at you. It could also even kill Chuck Norris in a fierce battle. But definitely not Mr. T.

The tricolor bit might be my favorite thing about it. Honestly, what three colors in what combination go together more beautifully? You should see it wave. In fact, you should see me dance. You should see me dance to Thriller. Yeah, baby!

Mr. Thing 2 Goes to Washington - Day One

Thing 2 is off with a group of his classmates on a whirlwind trip to Washington D.C. I thought about volunteering to go along as a chaperone until I saw their itinerary. They will stop at every single sight in the greater D.C. area for about seven nanoseconds. I'm pretty sure their schedule would kill me by the second day.

Sea-Tac airport is about an hour away from our house. To catch their 6am flight, the kids had to be at their school at Two. Thirty. A. M.

I got up to say goodbye but Husband drove him. Gag.

When Husband returned from his middle of the night expedition he declared that his son is a super genius.

There are five boys and fifty girls going on this trip. From the moment Thing 2 stepped out of the car at the school he was surrounded with girls. As were the other four boys. Geniuses, all five.

So here are the text messages I've received from him since he left on his adventure...

4:30am Smooth sailing. Just got my boarding pass. Waiting.

I didn't get this until 8am. Since I had gone back to bed and all.

11:53am Arrived at layover city. Busy going from one gate to another. Getting pizza. Forward to Richmond! Will take one Dramamine tablet now. Text if I need to know something.

Wonder if he will eat anything other than pizza for the next five days? Notice how he doesn't know that his layover is in St. Louis.

2:03pm Arrived at Richmond. Slept through most of flight. All okay.

I knew the Dramamine would knock him out. Probably should have given the chaperones enough for all of the kids to have one.

4:43pm Mmmm...pizza and ice cream.

He's gonna come home leaking pizza sauce out of his pores.

7:02pm Bus stopped at hotel. Awaiting my turn. Low battery. Text you again in a few minutes. Took lots of pics today.

7:41pm Dear god, how will I survive the night? My roommates are flatulent, cuss-crazy buffoons.

I miss you too sweetie.

Fourteen

Fourteen years ago my babies were in incubators. They were super tiny and stayed in the ICU for two weeks. When they came home, outfits in "preemie" size were too big.

Now they are taller than I am, super handsome, and FOURTEEN YEARS OLD!

And I have a lot more gray hair.

Happy birthday Thing 1 and Thing 2, I love you both to the moon and back!

Brutal Honesty

My senior thesis is a play. Yup. When the opportunity presented itself I took the plunge and wrote a play instead of yet another research paper. This from a student who has taken ZERO creative writing courses. I took English 101 and 102 and then lost myself in the awesomeness of history and political science classes.

Naturally my play is historical. It's about the Nat Turner slave rebellion of 1831. With Malcolm X. Take my word for it, it works. I'll put it out here eventually - my vision is for it to be part of an entire curriculum for high school students about slavery and racism in the United States. For now you just have to take my word for it that it's come together quite nicely.

And that is entirely due to all the amazing feedback I've gotten from real live high school students.

One of the benefits to being a serial volunteer is all the contacts I've made at my kids schools. The drama teacher at the high school is amazing. According to all the performing arts parents he walks on water, and judging from the exceptional quality of his students performances I'm inclined to believe them. He was kind enough to allow me to borrow one of his classes to be guinea pigs for my play. After my first draft was complete I took it in, they did a table reading, and then gave me their feedback.

I was amazed at how articulate, thoughtful, and helpful their comments and notes were. It was exactly what I needed to make my project something that might actually be useful rather than just mental masturbation for a grade.

My re-write was substantial - all based on their feedback. I changed the format, scrapped the ending and wrote a new one, and added dialogue. Today I went back to amazing drama teacher's fifth period class and they did a second reading of my play. (I brought cookies and brownies this time, don't want them to feel unloved and taken advantage of!)

Again they blew me away with their maturity and I now have a kick-ass play. Well - as kick-ass as it can be coming from a non-playwright.

But - my favorite comment of ALL TIME was from one kid who came up to me as they were packing up their stuff in preparation for the bell to ring.

"That was SO much better Ms. Whatever - I actually ENJOYED it this time!"

Brutal honesty. I love it!

The Speech

Here is Thing 2's election speech. I think it's pretty clever but then I'm biased.

Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers were having a pretty great time dancing to jazz music and sitting on flagpoles. This is because fourscore and seven years ago it was 1923, and back then flagpole-sitting and jitterbugs were cool. But do you know what's cool right now? M High School! Yes, MHS, conceived here in M and dedicated to the proposition that all teenagers deserve a better education.

Now we are engaged in a great senatorial election, testing who will be a Freshman Senator at the high school next year. Now, who am I addressing? You. Yes you, the 8th graders! YOU will all be freshmen up at MHS next school year. If elected, I will be your class senator, representing all of you. I will be representing what YOU think! I will be representing YOUR thoughts, YOUR opinions, YOUR ideas and YOUR NEEDS! I will have the power to help change MHS to fit those needs! But, this can only happen if you vote for me. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here. It is rather for us to be dedicated to the great task remaining before us - that we shall elect a Senator whose devotion for the students is shown in the great lengths he goes to in order to improve the lives of the students - that we here highly resolve to have an intelligent, passionate Class Senate - that this school district, of M, shall have a new birth of freedom - and that government of the students, by the students, and for the students shall not perish from M High School.

Our Budding Politician

Yesterday was pretty exciting here at Casa Whatever - Thing 2 was elected to be a Freshman Senator at the high school next year! He made posters, campaigned, wrote a speech and delivered it to the ENTIRE student body of 500 kids plus all the teachers, staff, and visitors. Husband went to watch his speech yesterday morning and was blown away by the response Thing 2 got from the kids. They jumped up yelling and screaming, yelled "We Love You [Thing 2]" and just went nuts in general. I got to see it on husbands iPhone video and it was AWESOME.

Here he is with his co-Senator...

This is quite possibly the best parenting moment of my life. Middle school has been a tumultuous time for Thing 2 with several transitions as we tried to find the best place for him. The decision to enroll him not only into a different school than Thing 1 but into this particular school is easily the best decision we've ever made. Every single staff member from the Principal to the paraeducators to the custodians care about the students and will do whatever it takes to help them be successful and happy at school. I cannot say enough about how incredibly lucky we are to live in such a wonderful school district full of people who love and care about the students.

Two years ago Thing 2 never wanted to set foot in a school again. It was a miserable place for him and that unhappiness affected every facet of his life. Today he is eager to go to school, has lots of friends, and is excited and enthusiastic about what he is learning.

We are so lucky to have such a wonderful village to help us raise healthy, happy kids and are so very proud of him.