Iran Trip Part I: by Thing 2

Hey folks, Thing 2 here. We just got back from Iran! And by "just" I do not mean "just," as it was just a few weeks ago, so saying "just" would just be unjust, and saying so would do me no justice and be just plain unjustified. I'm just sayin'.

You know what's a really stupid name for a movement? Antidisestablishmentarianism. Why not just call yourselves the "Double Negativists," or "The We Failed English Classists?" Cut out the middle man! Stop foolin' around and admit who you really are!

*ahem*

Anyway, Iran. It was an enlightening experience. I can't type out all of my thoughts on Iran in one go, because my brain is faster than my tongue, and my tongue is faster than my fingers. Hey-o!

Here you can see a really old bathroom of a really old castle from the 1700s. The echo was absolutely unbelievable; I couldn't understand what I or anyone was saying! I tried to say,

"These pillars have really intricate patterns on them."

but what I ended up saying was,

"THROOMWORKRWXPPLLGARMNOOBBODMPADMPTRAKLZPNTTRAAGFSMDRM!"

"Buddy, are those your kids over there?"

"Yeah."

"Are they speaking English?"

"Yeah."

"Are they American?"

"They're Iranian-American kids."

"Wow! As a tour guide, I think that I'll drop everything I'm doing in my busy schedule and whatnot and give them a personal tour, free of charge!"

"Gee, thank you, sir!"

"Do they speak Farsi?"

"No, they never bothered t-"

"You must be a terrible father. Shame on you! Here, be my translator."

We climbed a whole mountain, and got a beautiful view of the Tehran smogscape!

Come, my children! Have you your jackets and water bottles and ovaloid chunks of flatbread? We shall take the fight to the mountains!

Whoever heard about the Western tradition of throwing coins into fountains must have translated it as throwing money into fountains. We saw in fountains golden coins, silvery coins, and...paper bills. Yes. Actual, real people decided that it was a good idea to

Throw.

Paper.

Money.

Into a fountain.

Wait, that's not the best part! Here's the kicker: At the end of one fountain, we saw resting at the bottom of the pool, rendered almost invisible by the obscuring effect of the wind blowing across the water...

A CREDIT CARD.

Pardon my Sanskrit, but WHO THE HECK DOES THAT?!? Did some obscenely wealthy international fatcat stop by and say, "Gosh, I really need good luck on the next shareholder's meeting. I know! Here, have a freshly-picked Visa from my personal money tree!"

I mean, that's just silly.